TSHTF

All posts tagged TSHTF

FEAST OR FAMINE – A Zombie Fiend Anthology

Published August 15, 2014 by Shadow Girl

Survivalists / Preppers are people who have prepared to ensure their safety and continued existence in the event of a catastrophic disaster.
Preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse is something that everyone should think about. When TSHTF, and it’s the end of the world as we know it – zombies may or may not be the cause. It could be war, it could be disease, or even Mother Nature. Whatever the cause, if you’ve prepared for zombies – any other disaster will seem easy to handle.

Next comes the hard part.

Will you help those who have mocked you? Are you ready to defend everything that you’ve worked so hard to establish? What will you do as the government tries to interfere? These are all important decisions that will have to be made!

When the time comes, will you survive – or be caught unprepared?

FeastFamineCover

“DOIN’ WHAT I CAN, WITH WHAT I GOT”

With all due respect to Bowie V. Ibarra, I disagree with you on the most hysterical part of any movie in the TREMORS franchise. What we have in common is that both of our moments include Michael Gross.
My *PMPL moment is when Burt declares – “I’m out of ammo.” At the time, that struck me as the funniest thing EVER.
The sad part is – Burt Gummer SHOULD be the second most quoted movie character of all time – (next to Sir Bruce). If we’re in the same bunker when TSHTF, that will become ‘our thing’. Deal?

The stories in this collection are all centered on survival in the apocalypse. Some people thrive, while others try to survive by force – stealing what they can, and turning against their fellow man.
One woman does what is necessary to survive on her own, while another woman tries to lure her friend over under false pretenses. Relationships are strained as friends turn against friends, and others are saved when couples realize that family comes first.
One man finds the love of his life – 33 minutes before she dies, while another man turns his back on his family to take care of the only thing of importance to him – Himself. Zombies are not the only monsters in this collection, and definitely not the only thing to worry about. These stories show that mankind is usually the worst monster of them all.

Here are a few highlights from this amazing collection –

THE BEGINNING is the first story in the collection, and it sets a tone for the entire book. Sara Gray paints a picture with colors that I never knew existed – and parts of it had a bigger impact on me than I’d thought possible. I don’t want to post spoilers, so I’ll keep this brief… This story of one woman’s survival begins the moment the SHTF, and follows her throughout the z-poc. At one point during this ss, I wanted to curl into a fetal position, cover my head, and cry. Very powerful, and the perfect story to begin this collection.

Alan Dale’s contribution – EAT ME, BITE ME; JUST DON’T IGNORE ME! is another stand out story in F/F. Two survivors in a city over run by the dead look for a way to connect. The distance that separates them could practically be measured by saliva, (spitting distance), but it might as well be miles.

Rick Restucci’s THE HUMAN RACE could easily be made into a movie – probably not as good as the one that played out in my head while reading it, but a good movie nonetheless. A very wealthy survivor finds a way to bring entertainment back to television – in the form of a new reality show.

BRINGING IN THE HARVEST is a unique and enjoyable story. By Introducing new elements into the zombie genre, Carl Fox is a name I’m going to keep an eye on.

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS is a story that I’d contact Bowie about, if he wasn’t already a part of this anthology. Grizz needs to read it for sure!
Jamall K. Luckett ties the zombie story in with with the male soap opera world of wrestling. This ss is going to make a lot of people I know giddy with delight!

The epilogue is from UP FROM THE DEPTHS author J.R. Jackson. I’ve learned more from him than from all those tv survivalists combined! He’s one of the most knowledgeable people in the field. He gives you tips that are usable by the everyday person, and you don’t need a million dollars to get the supplies you need. He also advocates the use of water purification tablets, rather than drinking your own urine, so… BONUS!
When the weekly Survival Chat starts up again, I’ll make an announcement. Until then, you can join in on group discussions at Zombie Fiend.

There are stories of greed, and stories of compassion. Family turning against family, and people trying to make it alone. Each is different, but it’s all about survival. This anthology will make you think. When the shit hits the fan, how will you end up? Feast, or famine?

THE AUTHORS –
Bowie V. Ibarra
Sara Gray
Paul McConnell
Alan Dale
Johnny Andrews
Rebecca Besser
Tony Monchinski
Rich Restucci
Carl Fox
Jamal K. Luckett
J. Cornell Michel
Dylan Worthey
R.J. Spears
Kevin A. Harris
Julianne Snow
UP FROM THE DEPTHS”>J.R. Jackson

Cover art by Chris Rawding

PeeingMyPantsLaughing

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Beer Run of the Dead by D.F. Noble

Published May 5, 2014 by Shadow Girl

♬ It’s the end of the world as we know it, where can I get a dime?♬

Original cover from StrangeHouseBooks

Original cover from StrangeHouseBooks

☣ ☣ ☣ ☣ ☣ 5/5 Biohazards for BRotD

Action packed dumbass, zombie killing, booze hounding, jiggly tits, of action full of super action! Beer Run of the Dead is the first book in a series sure to quench your thirst.
Follow Kip, Rock and Steady, as they struggle to survive and stay completely shit faced in the face of certain undead doom. These three unlikely heroes hold the key to humanity’s salvation, but will they succeed being inebriated as they are? Not everyone who saves the world is a rocket scientist, a super hero, or a handsome actor turned politician. Sometimes people who save the world… they’re fucking idiots.

New beer label cover from Rooster Republic Press

New beer label cover from Rooster Republic Press

I really gotta tell ya, I’ve been a bit zombied out lately. Add to that the fact that I can’t get the end to my zombie SS written, and… it kind of bums me out. SOO… it took me a little while to open this book up. But, once I did – I couldn’t put it down!
Beer Run Of The Dead has made it’s way into my top five favorite zombie stories. Ever. (Sharing spots with Tonia, and Cal – you know who I go on and on about!).
The saviors of mankind in this story, our warriors of booze & justice, are Rock, Steady, & Kip – these are friends of yours. Whether you know them now, or knew them in your past, I’ll bet that at least 80% of us picture that friend when reading this. Take a bit of everyone’s favorite unlikely hero – Ash, (Bruce Campbell), get him FUBAR, and then double the humor – and that’s what I want you to expect when you start BRotD.
I don’t know what else to tell you about the plot without ruining the story for you, but I think what has already been said in the synopsis is enough. I made so many notes and highlights while reading – but I can’t let you in on all of it!! I can’t NOT touch on some of it, though.
Soft warning here… (not like an EBS warning, more like the required weekly test of the EBS.) The remainder of this post contains bits that are kind of spoilers – but only spoilers for scenes, not spoilers for the story line.

Some of my favorite things in this book…

There is a ‘shit & slide’ – (you’ll see!), Cartman quotes, and a woman who gets beat with her own dildo – (and loses her teeth from it)!
Kip’s mom has a muscley bf, who is like any newcomer into a relationship with a teenager – he is trying way to hard to be buddy-buddy, and trying even harder to be cool. That makes him an instant d-bag, you know the type. He is gonna be a bro! Well, first thing he does is shotguns a hit of his joint to Kip, and his reaction is the first thing that had me dying. Kip goes to his room alone & thinks

“My head feels like an electric blanket with a fan blowing. Fuck I’m hungry. Fuck I wanna nap. Maybe I should call grandma sometime, it’s been a while…”

– I’m just cracking up – I know your pain, bro!!

Here’s something to let you into my head, to show how goofy my brain works…
In chapter 3, (at about 9% in) -when TSHTF, there’s a line that says… “A thick wall of smoke rolls steadily down the street…”
I highlighted ‘smoke rolls steadily down the street…’, and I made a note so I’d remember to tell you guys (and the author) that I automatically sang that to QUEEN’s ‘Another One Bites The Dust’. I had it stuck in my head for the rest of the day, and now that I’m re-living the moment… it’s back. So… this is your mandatory ear-rape. Now you’ll have it stuck in your head, too.
Not long after the Jock Jams 57 sing-a-long, still at about nine percent, there is a scene that had me literally laughing out loud, and I had to read it to my husband –
The scene itself is utterly hilarious.
Add the fact that I’ve been working a full time McJob since the GM layoffs and it turned to pure comedy gold!

There is a guy ordering breakfast in the drive-thru of a fast food joint. The customer, Mike, is the epitome of ‘that guy’. The asshole customer who wants something to be wrong, so he can bitch. If there is nothing wrong, he’ll make something up. (Remember… TSHTF moment has already begun, things are blowing up, sirens going off – and he’s pissed about having to wait to order). Already irrationally upset, when he orders a Coke but the place only carries Pepsi – he starts to lose his shit, and then the real fun begins!

“Is Pepsi all right?”
“What? No, I won’t drink that shit. Give me a Sprite instead.”
“Is Sierra Mist okay?”
“Are you fucking serious? What is this shit?”
“So, a Sierra Mist?”
“No, I said are you seri—“
“One Sierra Mist, got it. So we have two biscuits and gravy, two hash—“
“I don’t want a goddamn Sierra Mist! Listen, jackass, I want—“
This time, it isn’t the pimple-faced kid on the other side of the speaker distracting the Cardinals fan, but an ambulance that comes wailing down the street from out of nowhere. Weaving in and out of traffic, the thing is all over the road, hopping the curb before finally nailing a car at the intersection. Glass shatters, metal buckles, and the car does a near three-sixty before colliding with oncoming traffic.
“Frikkin’ shit!” the Cardinals fan exclaims.
“Sorry sir, we don’t carry Mr. Pibb.” (bah ha ha!)
– stuff happens, more stuff happens, and then…
“What the fuck is going on…” the Cardinals fan softly moans, from the relative safety of his car.
“Excuse me, sir, did you say foot-long hot dog?”

Last funny that I’m going to point out is when Kip meets Rock & Steady. They’ve been through a lot already, and
Kip describes some things he’d had to do when TSHTF. Rock & Steady seem sympathetic, and they proceed to tell Kip about how/why they’d had to kill their girlfriends when the end of the world started…
I don’t want to ruin all my favorite parts for you, so I’m just making a note to say… don’t miss it!

BRotD-KipEvans

D.F. Noble is a hell of a writer.
He has three stories in the SHB anthology STRANGE SEX.
His SS CINNAMON had a sci-fi edge to it, and reminded me of an old movie I once saw called (I think…) CHERRY 2000.
His SS INTERLOPER is about the big guy upstairs seducing the women on earth, and the SS FOREIGNER, well… FOREIGNER made me gag. A lot.
All the shorts in SCARY FUCKING STORIES were great, too. Plus, I feel like I got a little peek inside his head.
What I’m saying is this – he’s not a guy you can jam into one category. Multi-genre, multi-talent.

Note to Don and/or Arthur…
Those shots of tequila at the end… are they Cabo Wabo Blue agave tequila? I’m going to imagine that – YES, THEY ARE! Will also assume that they’ll have some Hagar-Miester to mix with Red Bull for some power shots 😉

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