Jeff Strand

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DOA III: Extreme Horror Anthology

Published October 26, 2018 by Shadow Girl
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After six years and more than fifty authors, the Unholy Trinity is complete. This third installment in the DOA series offers thirty stories from the originators of splatterpunk as well as the newest voices in extreme horror.

You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll vomit
Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Stories from Bentley Little -Jack Ketchum & Edward Lee – Shane Mckenzie – Wrath James White – Richard Christian Matheson – Kristopher Triana – T.M. McLean – Sean Eads & Joshua Viola – T. Fox Dunham – John Skipp – Luciano Marano – Ryan Harding – Kristopher Rufty – Daniel I. Russell – LLoyd Kaufman & Lily Hayes Kaufman – David Sandner – Betty Rocksteady – C.M. Saunders – K. Trap Jones – Hal Bodner – Adrian Ludens – C. Cameron Rossi – Alistair Rennie – Airika Sneve – Christoph Weber – Garrett Cook – Eric J. Guignard – Jeff Strand – Jaap Boekestein – John McNee

NOTCHES by Sean Eads and Joshua Viola
How do you keep track of things? A notch on your bedpost? A notch on your arm?
How do you keep track of things you have lost?

BROKEN HEARTED by T. Fox Dunham
💔 💻 The Perfect Couple. It’s not just a saying, or a wish, thanks to No More Broken Hearts, Inc. 100% perfectly compatible couples world wide – no fighting, no bullshit. What could possibly go wrong?

N WORD by Shane McKenzie
⚰️ 🛀 🤢 Calvin was a regular, horny kid. But he should have thought about that fantasy for a little while longer. No patience these days.

SKIPP’S SPLATTERPUNK ALPHABET SOUFFLE by John Skipp
I don’t normally pick anthology favorites, I try to just hit on each story.
But…SKIPP’S SPLATTERPUNK ALPHABET SOUFFLE is one that should be on everyone’s ‘Must Read’ list.

TAKEAWAY NIGHT by T.M. McLean
💩 I can barely read about emetophilia and/or coprophilia without gagging, and this was tough for a minute. But, I got a chuckle, too. 🤢

BURNT by Luciano Marano
🔥 Vicki is driven by the burn. By the beauty of it. And she just wants her world to be a beautiful place to live. “Burn wards are Satan’s art gallery“.

JUNK by Ryan Harding
🤢 🔪 ☢️ A Viral Virus ss – jam packed with cringe inducing imagery, hilariously grotesque metaphors, and hyperbole for days 😝
My Ryan Harding books look like rainbows; full of highlighted words & phrases that I never want to forget, but sadly cannot seem to slip into every day conversations.

THE PACKAGE by Kristopher Rufty
📦 We all want to do the right thing, love the neighbor and all that. But when your inner freak-tard detector starts binking red, listen to your inner voice. Call me a cunt, but I’ll still be alive!

RED by Richard Christian Matheson
I need to thank this brilliant mind that gave me “Three O’clock High”, (as well as many stories that I’ve loved, but didn’t realize who the author was  😕)

8 OUT OF 10 by Daniel I. Russell
😼 A battle of wills between a mother and her son. 😾

THE MACHINE by Bentley Little
If you think hard enough, you can use anything to jerk off with. But finding out that your dirty little thingamajig was made to be exactly that… it kinda takes some of the romance out of it.

POSTHUMOUS by Lloyd Kaufman & Lily Hays Kaufman
It’s all about your social media followers – don’t pretend like it’s not.

BURY THEM DEEPER by David Sandner
👹 Learning that monsters are human can break your psyche as a kid.

THESE BEAUTIFUL BONES by Betty Rocksteady
💔 🔨 When your girl is coming at you with a hammer in her hand… Do not call her by the wrong name. JS

SUBJECT #270374 by C.M. SAUNDERS
🏥 🚬 🗞️ Deep thoughts & dry humor 💉 🔪
I need to pay more attention to this author.

BEER BATTERED by K. Trap Jones
Deliverence meets Bigfoot – with buddies & beer! 🍺

L’AMUSE BOUCHE by Hal Bodner
Joel considers himself a 9.5/10 on the hotness scale, Why settle for just one guy when there are so many to amuse the mouth? Besides, his dates don’t always walk away as pretty as they were going in…

PROUD PAPA by Adrian Ludens
🍼 As a parent, I can attest to watching my spawn grow up over night. There’s never enough time. The proud papa in this ss doesn’t miss a second.

CRY THE BANSHEE by C. Cameron Rossi
Add another #MichiganMadman to our list!  This madman lives in the urban wilds of Detroit, Michigan – maybe we’ve already crossed paths.

TERRORSLUTS FOR ETERNITY VERSUS THE UNGODHEADS OF THE INTERDIMENSIONALS by Alistair Rennie
👾 This is a little more sci-fi than I’d normally read, but I got into the story. If you know me, that says a lot.

WE BELIEVE IN 5B by Airika Sneve
🥒 🍆 🍌 🌋 An in-house seminar in ‘Unconventional Leadership’. Why do guys go batshit overboard when they are with other ‘bros’?

TAKING ROOT by Christoph Weber
🌿🌱 It may be the end of times, but thank Christ there weren’t any zombies! The couple in this is know how to survive – by any means necessary.

THE BLISS POINT by Wrath James White
⛪ 🍆 OMFG. There’s something wrong with me. 🌋

WOEFUL CITY by Garrett Cook
Leave your hope behind if you’d enter here”.

RITCHIE by Eric J. Guignard
A duel that lasts more than a lifetime will surely bring some crazy with it at some point in time. But, who’s to say WHAT is crazy?

I’D GIVE ANYTHING FOR YOU by Jack Ketchum and Edward Lee.
How To Lose A Guy In Three Weeks. Sorta.
💍 💔 ‘IGAFY‘ has been published prior to this anthology, but I enjoyed reading again.⛓️ 🔒

HOSTILE by Jeff Strand
💸 🔪 I always look forward to Jeff’s sense of humor – in all it’s flavors.

“…that’s a mentally ill thing to do. That’s for somebody who drools and wears necklaces made out of body parts. I don’t wear necklaces made out of body parts, I will never wear necklaces made out of body parts, and I don’t appreciate you trying to make me feel guilty about not wearing necklaces made out of body parts.”

METAL HEAT by Jaap Boekestein
A fetish can consume your time, but when it becomes YOU… that’s trouble.

REPULSIVE GLAMOUR by John McNee
A drug. A transformation, if you’re one of the lucky ones. A very painful death if your not.
Pssst… Hey, John… ‘Degredatia’ is the best character name ever!

THE BITCH by Kristopher Triana
🔗 This is a tale of terror and revenge, (with some new and interesting forms of brutality!). It also had a couple of twisty turns that took me by surprise! I’ll definately be looking into more work from this author, The Detained is on my Must Read list now (I remember getting BODY ART, and I need to get it in que!) I had to giggle a bit when I read the author bio and learned what Kristopher Triana does for a living, when he’s not writing that is. I have two more books on my Must Read list now, too! 🗜️

* A PERSONAL NOTE TO KRISTOPHER TRIANA:
I’d be very excited to see the New & Improved Emma taken further. Her recently acquired ‘treasure’ is a story begging to be told as well!

BizarroCentral

BloodBoundBooks

The Song of Dweller

Published December 27, 2016 by Shadow Girl

DWELLER by Jeff Strand

The story of a macabre, decades-long human/monster bromance.
A relationship that will last their entire lives, through times of happiness, tragedy, love, loss, madness, and complete darkness. Gear up boys & girls – I cried buckets of tears throughout this one.  Read my original review of the book HERE.

 

A video for “The Song of Dweller”, a heart-wrenching and gut-twisting song about DWELLER, the latest novel by Jeff Strand. Song by the mighty Trevor Strong of the Arrogant Worms. Video by the mighty Terri Garey.

 

The lifetime story of a boy and his monster.

The lifetime story of a boy and his monster.

My 2016 Goodreads Reading Challenge So Far…

Published September 28, 2016 by Shadow Girl

* 2016 READING CHALLENGE STATS * Participants 2,693,803 / Total Books Pledged 127,845,226 / Books Finished 28,625,135 / Avg. Books Pledged 47 / Challenges Completed [to date] 5,475 / Time Left 95 days / KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK EVERYONE!

I’ve completed the 2016 Goodreads Reading Challenge, and have read about 128 of 125 books… so far – (that is just the Goodreads challenge, not Shadow Girl‘s personal goal… I am far from finished!)  Just try to stop me – It’s not even October yet!  
I may be 36 books ahead of [the GR] schedule, but do you realize just how many books on my 2016 Must Read list are not even published yet?! (not to mention my ‘don’t judge me’ list or my ‘guilty pleasure’ list – No. I have no shame).  
OMG, these authors are killing me! 
But, I wouldn’t want to go any other way.
Big, BIG, HUGE thanks to the minds behind the mayhem.
You guys are a large & very important part of my life, and I’m lucky enough to call many of you my friends. Thank you for the journeys so far, and I can’t wait to see where we’re going next!!      P, L & N   ~sg

Check out some of my 2016 Books (so far…)  »

A Family of Violence by Jon Athan Mr. Snuff by Jon Athan Cyclops Road by Jeff Strand Lucifer's Angel by R.W.K. Clark School Reunion by Sam West My Brother's Keeper by Tim Miller The Uninvited by Mike Evans The Day Bob Greeley Died by Kimberly A. Bettes The Landlord by Brett Droege Unconditional by Blake Crouch The Criers Club by Kimberly A. Bettes Depraved by Michael Bray Brother's Keeper by R.W.K. Clark 8 Church Field by Stuart Keane She'll Never Know by Matt Shaw His For The Keeping by Myra FoxDisturb by J.A. Konrath The Revelation Room by Mark Tilbury Car Nex by Michael Thomas-Knight The Con Season by Adam Cesare Sarah Killlian by Mark Sheldon Whiskey Sour by J.A. Konrath Chat Show by Matt Shaw Woom by Duncan RalstonThe Eaton by John K. Addis A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay Twisted Bitches by Matt Shaw Family Business by Brett Williams Tradition by Kyle M. Scott The Girls by Emma Cline Final Review by Dawn Cano Little Terrors by David JesterMr. Monster by Dan Wells Suicide Hotline by Tim Miller An Idiot in Love by David Jester Offline by Kealan Patrick Burke Hoffman's Creeper and Other Disturbing Tales by Cameron Trost Hide and Seek by Jack Ketchum Teeth - a short story with bite! by Matt Shaw Hair of the Dog by Matt ShawDownward Spiral by Gary Pearson Exposed by David Owain Hughes I Am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells Cornered by Rhoda Belleza The Wild by Kyle M. Scott The Lost by Jack Ketchum Diary of a Madman by Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff WEB CAM JACK KILBORN by Jack KilbornWords Kill Me by Evan Bollinger Fool's Blood by David Jester I Am Karma by Dawn Cano Mother by Angel Gelique The New Neighbor by Ray Garton Charlotte by Stuart Keane All or Nothing by Stuart Keane Blister by Jeff Strand Hillary by Angel Gelique Mean girl by Natasha A. Salnikova The Lonely Psychopath by Matt Shaw The Light by Matt Shaw VHS by Kyle M. Scott One Violent MotherF*cker by Matt Shaw Flesh Factory by Sam West Keith by Andrew Lennon Love Lies Dead by Kyle M. Scott Dread by Clive Barker March's Murder by Andrew Lennon February's Murder by Andrew Lennon January's Murder by Andrew Lennon Hillary by Angel Gelique Before the Harvest by Kimberly A. Bettes Hillary by Angel Gelique Splatterpunks by Sam West The Good Neighbor by Kimberly A. Bettes Zac's Haunted House by Dennis Cooper Rage by Kimberly A. Bettes The House That Hell Built by Matt Shaw Annie's Revenge by Kimberly A. Bettes 22918 by Kimberly A. Bettes Pushed by Kimberly A. Bettes Held by Kimberly A. Bettes Victim by Sam West Brazen by Matt Hickman Anniversary Dinner by Shaun Hupp Bound by Andrew Lennon The Funeral by Matt Shaw Hell, Texas by Tim Miller Bound by Andrew LennonCash Out by Dawn Cano Jeremy by Matt Hickman Caravan by Andrew Lennon The Customer Is Always... by Stuart Keane A Sting in the Tale by Matt Shaw Stuck On You and Other Prime Cuts by Jasper Bark Strange Sex 3 by John Bruni Easter Eggs and Bunny Boilers by Matt Shaw Shoebox by Michael Bray Trouser's Edge by Carl Lee The Haunting of Emily Stone by Amy Cross The Tale of Sawney Bean by Kevin J. Kennedy Dead Man's Chair by Kimberly A. Bettes Bucket List by Dawn Cano Sleep Deprived by Dawn Cano Kids by Jack RollinsSHE by Matt Shaw Terrible Cherubs by Robert Brumm Despite The Roots by Matt Shaw Neighborhood Watch by Joseph A. Turkot Violent Delights by Dawn Cano The Dumping Game by Stephen Donald Huff Larry 2 by Adam Millard To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper LeeConsumed by Kyle M. Scott Murder Girls by Christine Morgan The Book of Bunny Suicides by Andy Riley Scarecrows by Michael Bray My Family by Matt Shaw The Slender Man Initiative by Tim Miller Rage by Kimberly A. Bettes The Slender Man Initiative by Tim Miller The Slender Man Initiative by Tim Miller Active Shooter by Tim Miller Hexad by Andrew Lennon Whiskey Sour by J.A. Konrath The Slender Man Initiative by Tim Miller Fiends by Richard Laymon  Freddy's House by David Jester

THE GREATEST ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER by Jeff Strand

Published October 19, 2015 by Shadow Girl

No gerbils were harmed during the writing of this book.

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The Greatest Zombie Movie Ever is so bad, it could wake the dead…

 

What happens when three buddies decide to make an epic zombie movie with no money, no script, and a one month shooting deadline? Possibly THE WORST ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER!

Imagine the Farrelly brothers while they were growing up, and making YouTube movies. That’s how I picture Justin and his friends – brainstorming, conflicting ideas, bickering, casting, cheese fries, and the kind of teasing you can only do with your best friends.

Struggling with location issues, actor demands, and sleep deprivation, everyone’s tempers shorten, and things escalate quickly.  If the movie ever does get made, it might be at the cost of their friendship!

As usual, Jeff Strand had me audibly laughing from the beginning! No, not the beginning of the story… the beginning of the book. The preface. The ‘before you read this book WARNING’.  Parts of the story reminded me of IF CHINS COULD KILL: CONFESSIONS OF A B MOVIE ACTOR by Bruce Campbell. A fond remembering of the grueling schedule, agonizing FX, and Murphy’s Laws of film making – but when you’re passionate, and with your friends… it’s worth every minute!

THE GREATEST ZOMBIE MOVIE EVER will be released by Sourcebooks Fire on March 1’st, 2016. I read an advanced copy through NetGalley. Like I’ve said to you many times before – don’t let the Teens & YA classification scare you off!

Visit Jeff Strand on Gleefully Macabre, Facebook,   Twitter, and check out his books on Goodreads & Amazon.

 

DWELLER by Jeff Strand

Published April 7, 2015 by Shadow Girl

Eight year old Toby Floren was on an adventure, chasing bank-robbers, and disintegrating aliens in the woods behind his house. He didn’t mean to get lost.
His parents said that monsters aren’t real, and his dad didn’t see anything when they went back to find his knife.
It was just his imagination. That’s all. Monsters aren’t real.

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Toby is fifteen now, and uses the woods as a place of solace. They’re somewhere where he can be alone, get away from everything, and think. Seeing the monster scared him again now, just as much as before. But now he’s a little older, and that thing from seven years ago deserves another look…

Fifteen year old Toby found a friend when he found the creature living in the woods. A friend he calls Owen.

DWELLER is Toby and Owen’s story. It’s about a bond formed between two… souls, a friendship that lasts more than fifty years. Like any friendship, there are good times, and bad. Unlike most friendships, there is also blood, and an occasional body to deal with. To be completely honest, there are some parts that are very hard to read through. I was a weepy & snotty mess at times, but I also laughed out loud, too. And – I felt every emotion in between.

Thank you, Jeff  🙂
I want to believe in monsters now.
Everyone deserves an Owen in their life.

You can find DWELLER on Amazon & Goodreads.

UPDATE!!

Fans (like us) are awesome people.  People like Jeff make it easy for us to WANT to be awesome, though.  He’s never too busy to take the time to connect with us, and he honestly loves, and appreciates the little things we do just to try and get other people as excited as we are about his books!  I’ve said before that I’d love to meet Jeff, and it would probably feel like we were just catching up with an old buddy – inappropriate humor and all!  I’d love to meet other fans, too.

If we all got together one night for a #StrandFan get-together,  I wonder if he’d come and bail us all out of jail. (oh, you know it would happen!)  I bet he’d go to the station to bail us out, but somehow end up arrested with us!

I don’t know how I came across this video posted by #StrandFan Chris Morey, but I had to update this review to post it! This is #fangirling to the nth degree! I love this so much, and I can’t wait to stalk the rest of Chris’s videos to see what else is hidden in there.

Yeah… I bet Chris is a guy we could go to jail with…

“Have a listen to the Dweller song and learn something about the book!”

“Dweller is a horror novel written by Jeff Strand. Jeff Strand, if you’re not familiar with him, usually writes with an excellent blend of horror and comedy and is truly a unique voice in the genre today. You’ll fall in love with his style as soon as you get your hands on your copy of Dweller.”

* From Chris Morey’s YouTube channel

FACIAL by Jeff Strand

Published March 25, 2015 by Shadow Girl

Greg has just killed the man he hired to kill one of his wife’s many lovers. He’s now got a dead body in his office.

Carlton, Greg’s brother, desperately needs a dead body. It’s kind of related to the lion corpse that he found in his basement.
Facial. It’s not about what you’re thinking.
Well, okay, part of it is…

Facial.Cover

Carleton is playing one of his least favorite games – it’s a combination of Hide & Seek with What’s That Smell. His olfactory senses lead him to his rarely used basement, and what he gets for ‘winning’ is even less fun than the game. His bizarre discovery leads him, and his brother, on a journey of bonding, pirate treasure, and severed heads.

The inner-monologue of Jeff’s characters always has me laughing out loud. I was going to start posting my favorite line from each of his titles on their reviews, but it’s impossible. I can’t choose a favorite from my top six lines in this book alone!
But… this one’s pretty good –
“Step away before thou contaminate me with thy contemptible insanity!”

Fun Facts –
¹ Yesterday I was reviewing YA books written by this author, and today I read about a guy who is thinking about murder & mayhem while going down on his wife.
I see nothing wrong with this.
² I didn’t notice at the time, but now I’m seeing the similarities on the covers of the books I bought the other day… I got this book, FACIAL, and BITE SIZE by Matt Shaw…
I’m off to contemplate the hidden reasons my subconscious led me here. Maybe I just need a facial

Find FACIAL on Amazon, Goodreads, and Dark Fuse

Gleefully Macabre

ELROD MCBUGLE ON THE LOOSE by Jeff Strand

Published March 25, 2015 by Shadow Girl

Elrod Mc Bugle is just trying to stay out if trouble, and survive his first year at Greenwater Junior High. Too bad LIFE keeps getting in the way.

A comedy for kids . . . and adults who were warped as kids!

ElrodMcB.Cover Pic

This needs to be a movie. No, wait… a SERIES of movies, like the one’s based off of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, but funny 😉 (only kidding).
Movies or books – the world needs more Elrod McBugle.

Elrod McBugle is a normal kid, with a normal family, and normal friends. Things just have a tendency to get weird when he’s involved.
It’s not his fault – it’s just harmless shenanigans gone awry. Like when he does his own science project on a science project, (along with that one friend who will lick just about anything), and it becomes a delicious, money-making [mis]adventure. Or when he interviews a teacher to investigate rumours about her being an axe murderer, and gets way more information than he ever wanted.
There’s also friendship, first-love, a bully, and insane squirrels.

I’m a horror junkie – we all know this. But, I am really enjoying Jeff Strand’s young adult books! Like I’ve said before – it’s up to us to help raise the next generation of horror lovers correctly. Introduce your spawn to Jeff’s writing now, and soon the day will come…
That perfect moment…
You present your child with your original copy of Dead Clown BBQ…
…and they smile.

Elrod McBugle on the LooseAmazon, Goodreads, and Gleefully Macabre

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