Think you’re hardcore? Think again.
I thought I was HARDER than hardcore, and… I didn’t handle this as easily as I believed I would. (That’s evident by the amount of time that passed between my first reading and this post!)
My showers are never hot enough any more.
The backs of my eyeballs itch.
I think I caught something, a VVD¹.
“Enjoy the tour, friends. Enjoy the gang-bang. You may need psych drugs afterwards, you may need an air-sick bag and a steam shower, but I feel confident that you will be provocatively moved by this book.”
~ Edward Lee, from his introduction
The Stories –
Hitting the bar right before last call isn’t the most opportune time to pick up a super-model. The best this guy could snag tonight was a blonde with a very slow metabolism. Her slow metabolism might have been a contributing factor to what happened at about 3:36 am, but that’s not even close to being the worst part of the night.
Von & Greg can’t believe their luck when they come across their favorite porn star look-alike on the side of the road. The little part about her already being dead was not of any concern to these guys. There are a couple of moments when you might think one brother is sicker than the other, but let me assure you – that’s not the truth.
Yeah… this is the first of the gag-inducing stories, but if you have a weak stomach you probably wouldn’t be interested in this book or checking out this review!
‘The Slave Killer’ claimed the lives of between four [confirmed] and eighteen [unconfirmed] women before disappearing. Twenty-five years later, the murders have started again. Is ‘The Bartok Butcher’ mimicking the brutal killings, or has ‘The Slave Killer’ returned to finish what he started?
There’s a hidden journal with ALL of the answers written inside, but will the right person find it before it’s too late? It depends on who you’re rooting for. In the end, I’m sure that the right person walked away.
Genital Grinder: A Snuff Act in 5 Acts:
Von & Greg are together again, and this time it’s not just for a bit of necrophiliac debauchery. No sir. This time is for fun & profit. The boys are going to lay the Urban Legend to rest and produce the world’s first sanctioned snuff film – ‘Genital Grinder’.
They’ve acquired THE Geisha Hammond, (the mouth-fuckable news anchor who’s lived through the previous stories), and the REAL Lolita Ream, (the look-alike having been used for the above mentioned necrophiliac debauchery in DAMAGED GOODS). These two women will be the stars of Von & Greg’s first film.
WARNING: It’s not just all about the blood, and the gore. This one almost made me puke.
A lot of people don’t realize that when you take your film in to be developed – the person who is developing it actually sees your photos. There are others who do realize, but just don’t care.
Alex is one of the faceless individuals that develops film, and believe me when I tell you that he is looking at the photos. He has even started printing off extra copies for his own personal collection.
When he recognizes some missing girls in a set of photos, he decides to pay the customer a visit – and it’s not because he’s a good Samaritan.
The ‘Taste Of Death’ videos are labeled as ‘shockumentaries‘, and advertise real deaths caught on tape. Clips of accidents, murders, and animal attacks are collected and pieced together to form 90 minute videos.
‘Taste Of Death 9: Grave Matters’ is about to be released, and Gabriel could hardly wait. He’d watched each of the first eight videos at least three times. When he thinks he recognizes the ‘shotgun to the face’ guy standing on a street corner, alive and with 100% of his skull, he feels totally betrayed. After a bit of research, and some amature investigation, Gabriel is sure he has figured out what is going on.
Then he sees ‘TOD9’ and realizes just how wrong he is.
Genital Grinder II: Dis-Membered:
We get to finish off this thrill ride with a little bit more of Von & Greg’s nauseating shenanigans! These two are bound & determined to become millionaires, and since their little snuff film didn’t pan out quite right – it’s back to the drawing board. They decide to dive headfirst into the oh-so lucrative business of penis-napping, but without a lick of common sense between them… well, becoming millionaires STILL may not be as easy as they thought.
Let me wrap this up by throwing in a few final thoughts –
Up until now, the only other work I’ve read by Ryan Harding was in Sixty-Five Stirrup Iron Road, so I don’t have a lot of back material to go on, (but, we know that Sixty-Five Stirrup Iron Road DID have some fun & nauseating moments for me). I think that Genital Grinder wins the trophy for being the most difficult book I’ve ever read. Reading it this second time (to help write the review) wasn’t any easier. BUT – underneath the buckets of blood, vomit, and bodily fluids, these are really great stories. If you don’t think you have the stomach to even attempt the worst, then start off by reading the shorts without Von & Greg. Start with DEVELOPMENT, and SHARING NEEDLES – they’re outstanding stories, and well worth the price of the book.
I love how certain characters, (like news anchor Geisha Hammond), are referenced in almost every story, along with the other little nods & winks (the Gaping Anus video being my favorite tie-in >.< ) that bond them all together.
Have you already read GG? Leave me some comments! Let me know your thoughts on the book and/or the author – good or bad. I’m very curious to hear other opinions.
¹ virtual venereal disease