funny

All posts tagged funny

That’s what friends do…

Published March 12, 2014 by Shadow Girl

DON’T STOP FOLLOWING MY BLOG BECAUSE OF THIS POST – I CAN EXPLAIN!!

Sometimes you find something so nifty, you have to drop EVERYTHING and play with it. And then, there are times when you find something that has a friend’s name all over it.
I found BOTH in one – and not playing with it… not an option!

I needed a work-space – and BBB became my PLAY-STATION!
See, just linking my friend to the super awesome thing – that’s no fun! For her to grasp the FULL EFFECT, she has to see…
Her name… SPELLED OUT WITH CATS! OMG! How great is this!?

Since I haven’t posted this yet, I’m going to make two more really quick. I always wanted to see my name in lights, but seeing it in cats… who can say no to that? Not I.

Shadow Girl


Becki And Dan


Nikki Hickman


Eric Nunn


Nikki And Eric


And, because I’m a dork, a childish dork, with a dirty mind…
OHMYGOD!!! LOOK AT THE “Y”!! And the exclamation point is a TAIL!!
You have no idea how happy I am right now…


After taking about this on FB yesterday – I had to make a few more…
Tonia was the first person I wanted to make one for, she appreciates all things quirky! I also thought that her RAILROAD! series needed a mascot…

2014-03-12 18.56.18

2014-03-12 19.04.08

That made me remember Chantal…

2014-03-12 18.54.12

By now, I’ve figured the font out a little better, and was able to fit BBB all on one line, and one more generic one…

2014-03-12 19.21.51

2014-03-12 19.07.41

Advertisements

Stop the violence!

Published March 9, 2014 by Shadow Girl
Just say "NO!"

Just say “NO!”

The History of the English Language (combined)

Published January 16, 2014 by Shadow Girl

A look at the history of the English language from The Open University –
A 10 part series, combined into one hilarious video.

The Twelve Days Of [A Writer’s] Christmas (by Debbie Ridpath Ohi)

Published December 28, 2013 by Shadow Girl
Debbie Ridpath Ohi (Found on C.N.'s FB wall)

Debbie Ridpath Ohi (Found on C.N.’s FB wall)

Amazon Reviews… Sometimes, theyre better than the product!

Published December 28, 2013 by Shadow Girl

I wish I could take credit for finding this actual product, and the reviews, but the props go to Sulu. George Takei posted this Book on social networking, highlighting one of the comments / reviews. It was funny, as everything George Takei posts is, but… I kept reading – and I read comment gold!

I hope that your funny-bone is as crooked as mine!

THE PRODUCT:

How to Avoid Huge Ships by Captain John W. Trimmer SECOND EDITION
Subtitled: Or: I Never Met a Ship I Liked
The first edition of this hook was self-published from the author’s home in Seattle. It is a maritime operations guidance book, intended for a specialized audience (the captains or operators of small private boats such as yachts and trawlers), the book gives advice on appropriate avoidance actions when confronted by the near presence of a large ship such as a freighter, along with anecdotes and background information such as the capabilities and operating procedures of the large ships.

This book has enough 'useful' information to fill 122 pages!  Are they hanging around in bad crowds? Joining gangs? Stalking their victims?

This book has enough ‘useful’ information to fill 122 pages! Are they hanging around in bad crowds? Joining gangs? Stalking their victims?

This book gets a rating of 3.7 out of 5 stars, and has a whopping 983 customer reviews, and that number is rising every few minutes. (It’s gone up by 4 just during the time it took to write this post!) (Reviews up to 1056 now! Sulu’s post sure brought us weirdos out!)- Amazon does not have this book available for purchase, but it does link you to 27 people who are selling it – with prices starting at $129.06 for used copies, and $225.18 for new ones – rising to ridiculous amounts – all the way up to $1899.33!

THE REVIEWS: The posts included here range from…

NORMAL

“I found this book very informative an well written. ”
– from: Truffle (46 reviewers made a similar statement)
“I tore open its cardboard protective layer like a lion tearing into a fallen antelope. ”
– from: Artemis Finkel (42 reviewers made a similar statement)

TO FUNNY

“Now I know what that steering wheel thingy is for”
5/5 Stars from: Cap’n Crunch:
This book really is one of the best huge ship avoidance references I’ve come across, not just for the effective methods it teaches as to avoiding huge ships, but also for exploding some of the huge ship avoidance myths that many of us take for granted.

For example:
Do not charge the huge ship at full speed in an attempt to scare it off. This may work with coyotes, but it is less effective with huge ships.
– Similarly, do not roll your boat over and play dead. Unless the huge ship is captained by a grizzly bear, this will not work.
– Do not attempt to go under the huge ship. This is typically not successful.
– Do not attempt to jump over the huge ship.

Captain Trimmer presents a rather novel technique for avoiding huge shipsmove your boat out of the path of the huge ship. I know what you’re thinking, this goes against conventional wisdom, but Trimmer presents significant empirical evidence to support his theory. Indeed, over the long run, moving out of the way will dramatically decrease the number of huge ship collisions you will have to endure in your daily life.

TO HILARIOUS

“Reads like a whodunnit!”
5/5 Stars from Citizenfitz:
I bought How to Avoid Huge Ships as a companion to Captain Trimmer’s other excellent titles: How to Avoid a Train, and How to Avoid the Empire State Building. These books are fast paced, well written and the hard won knowledge found in them is as inspirational as it is informational. After reading them I haven’t been hit by anything bigger than a diesel bus. Thanks captain!

TO REVIEWS FROM INANIMATE OBJECTS

“Good Advice For Most Readers, But Doesn’t Cover All The Bases.”
3/5 Stars from: Jamie:
There is one major oversight in this generally well-written book, and that is that it addresses animate readers exclusively. As a large rock in the Tyrrhenian Sea off the coast of Giglio Island, I have recently been confronted with instances in which avoiding huge ships was of fundamental interest to my personal well-being. However, the methods presented in Capt. Trimmer’s book were none too useful in my efforts to avoid huge ships, as I was recently struck by a very large ship indeed, a cruise vessel called the ‘Costa Concordia’. I think the ship came off slightly worse in the exchange, but the experience was disruptive to my afternoon and rather jarring. In a situation such as this, Capt. Trimmer’s advice would have been immensely beneficial to humans, fish, seabirds, and other animals, but I am none of those things. I’m a big rock. I can’t zig-zag or duck and cover. Rocks don’t do that. I’ve tried. I tried some time ago to scoot over to the left a bit to get some better sunlight, and it took me three thousand years! That’s not fast enough to avoid even the slowest huge ships. It is for precisely this reason that I would advise Capt. Trimmer to augment this edition with a section intended for readers like me–perhaps “How To Avoid Huge Ships If You Are A Rock, Iceberg, Or Coral Reef”. There is a market out there for this, Capt. Trimmer, and I assure you it would be well worth your time and effort.

AND REVIEWS FROM OTHER SHIPS

“Large beamed, please!”
1/5 Stars from: Altair Voyager:
I am a huge ship. Imagine having an entire book devoted toward actively avoiding you and your kind. I have always been bigger than other ships – and yes, I have endured years of being moared in the distance, never being able to enter the shallower bays, requiring tugs to guide me in – but now THIS! Mr. Trimmer, you sir, should be ashamed! Please do not be swayed by his drivel. I ask that you judge me not by the size of my cargo hatch but rather the content of my wheelhouse.

“End the Discrimination!”
1/5 Stars from Michael P.Ball:
For privacy concerns, call me Ishmael. I am a large ship. I’m saddened to see the anti-big ship lobby is at it again.

THERE ARE REVIEWS AS SONG LYRICS

“I like big ships and I cannot lie.”
5/5 Stars from: Amy Hopkins:
I like big ships and I cannot lie
You other tugs can’t deny
That when a tanker floats in with an itty bitty porthole
And a round ship’s wheel in your face
You spring a leak
Wanna pull up anchor
’cause you notice those containers were stuffed
Deep in the cargo hold she’s carrying
Help other customers find the most helpful review

AND, REVIEWS FROM ‘CONFUSED’ BOOK BUYERS

“Caution: Check the title before purchase”
3/5 Stars from: Graham Thomas:
I live near a park and frequently walk around the local area. Given the amount of dog mess that is on the pavements I thought this book would be the ideal read to stop me having to scrape my shoes on the grass before going home. It was only after it arrived that I looked closely at the title and realised it said ‘How to Avoid Huge SHIPS‘. A simple error that means I am still treading on massive examples of canine excrement. Having said that, I read the book anyway, and I’m pleased to say I’m not even having near misses with huge ships anymore. No sir, they aint getting anywhere near me!

AND THEN, THERE ARE THE REVIEWS FROM INSIDE THE ASYLUM –

“Extra-Biblical traditions regarding huge ship avoidance.”
5/5 Stars from: Salomon Isaacides:
As reported by Epiphanius, and confirmed in modern times with the discovery of Trimmer’s texts at Nag Hammadi. Noah’s wife is said to have found many copies of Captain Trimmer’s writing’s in abandoned pastures. Ancient rabbinical homiletical interpretations of “How to Avoid Huge Ships” reveal the popularity of this book among unicorn herders of this time

Even the one star reviews are only posted for the sake hilarity, I could search and find one to post that is a bad review, but – nah! Let’s keep it all for fun!

How to avoid this book!
1/5 Stars from Darren Moran:
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
Stumbled across this while looking for books on how to attract huge ships. This book is awful and vaguely racist.

I didn’t get close to reading even 10% of these! Even though there are bound to be many that are the same, I can predict at least an hour’s worth of fun from the review section of this book’s Amazon page!!

61yOpmH9rDL._SL500_SY300_
*WIKIPEDIA has a page dedicated to this book, some of the book’s synopsis came from there. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/88888
*This title can also be found on GOODREADS. The comments from members are practically the same as on Amazon – and, the numbers are rising fast!

WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN SEEING MORE FUNNY/AWESOME PRODUCT REVIEWS?
I’m thinking of adding a page strictly for this, and updating it as I find them.

Have you found, or posted, any reviews that you NEED to share – so you’re not laughing alone?
Share here, in the comments! I’ll be sure they make it to the new page, too – If I make it…

P, L, & N ❤
~sg

So, how’s your blog doing?

Published October 7, 2013 by Shadow Girl

So, how’s your blog doing?.
Resurrected to share the fun!

We all want to change the world – The REVOLUTION Award

Published September 17, 2013 by Shadow Girl

“A great revolution in just one single individual will help achieve a change in the destiny of a society and, further, will enable a change in the destiny of humankind.”
― Daisaku Ikeda

By it’s very definition, a revolution is simply a desire for change.
— Jack Chaser

“Revolution”

click on image for details

SG ~ The First Shadow of the Revolution

You say you want a revolution
Well you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don’t you know you can count me out

You say you got a real solution
Well you know
We don’t love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well you know
We’re doing what we can
But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you have to wait

You say you’ll change the constitution
Well you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it’s the institution
Well you know
You better free your mind instead
[…]

What is ‘The Revolution Award’ ?

JACK CHASER, fellow blogger & writer of The Things I See Up Here, was thinking about these ‘blogger awards’ we sometimes are honored with being chosen for. I, like him & every other blogger I know, am very grateful, and I feel very humble (and giddy!) when nominated for one. A couple of my favorites will forever adorn my sidebar. (::smiling:: Remember your first?)
To quote from his blog post directly, he writes –
“The basic concept behind the awards passed around the blogosphere is simple. It’s a chain letter. You pass it off to others who then select a chosen few to perpetuate the cycle. It is a great way to help drive traffic from the blogs you have selected back to your own blog by making it part of the “rules” that the recipients have to link back to you.”
I’d really like you to read his post, because, he explains how these awards can quickly turn from Prestigious Award to a headache of a task when you can’t award just anyone back. You must adhere to a strict set of conditions, always sticking to someone else’s rules.

Jack is the first to slam his fist down & shout “NO MORE!”
Again, I quote –
“Why can’t I give the ” Blogger I’d Like to Fuck ” award to someone who posts photos of food they have cooked that looks so good I want to lick the computer screen? Why can’t I give the “Best Moment” award to someone who posts a video of their kid falling asleep on the toilet?”
I, for one, am following suit!! Slamming my fist down, adding a foot stomp for good measure, & shouting…

“NO MORE!”

This moment, as you read this is the birth of a revolution. We, as writers, literally shape this world we have created and a revolution begins with a single change. I want to change the way we think about each other and the way we appreciate each other.”

And, that is what he has done! He has made a brand new award! THE REVOLUTION AWARD – one to be passed like a torch to any blogger who inspires us, or touches us. One that has no rules or stipulations. No seven facts about your genitals, or eleven reasons why you write what you write or your top 69 favorite foods. The only requirement… pay it forward.
Bestow it upon a blogger who made you smile, (or laugh, or cry) today.
Present it to someone who treats their blog as they would their novel.
Pay it forward to someone you think deserves it.

ArtRevAwd
The person who deserves this award from me is all those things, and more.
A master of horror, a weaver of words, a ¹BARD by modern definition.

Arthur Griswold, Art, Grizz, Pooh-Bear, man with the plan behind GRIZZ-TION.
*ARTHUR GRISWOLD – THE FIRST BARD OF THE REVOLUTION*
He used Grizz-tion as a home to some of his stories, (short and long), along with sharing some of the poetry that gravitated around his darker side. It was his coffee house to meet other writers, network, and generally ‘decompress’ his brain whenever needed.
Sadly, due to circumstances that I’m not getting into, Art stopped blogging.
Grizz-tion sits, waiting for his return. Fellow bloggers stop by and scatter the tumble-weeds, leaving with pouty lips & their heads held low.
Art still writes. He wrote a short story, a piece especially for his daughter – (I thought it had been blogged, but I cannot find it), that now graces the pages of Literary Orphans! (If his blog is a home for his work, LO is their summer cottage). As a matter of fact, Mr. Grizz is about to unveil something HUGE – but it’s a secret known only by The Keepers. We will fill you in as the project develops further.
Art, you deserve this for so many reasons. Your work is only the beginning.
You’ve inspired me in ways that I never thought possible.
You’ve been a sounding board, a cheerleader, a coach, and a teacher.
You RE-WROTE ‘Bushkill…’ – for me!!
A near & dear story which began from a spark in your mind and a beat in your heart. A story that, along with a select few others, was held close to your heart and seen by only the worthy, was changed. Changed to include my character, changed to support my story, changed to encourage me to keep writing!
You participate in any whimsical ideas I come up with, (Urban Legends), without complaint, knowing it encourages me to keep trying, to keep writing. And, you are currently participating in a compilation to make sure that Phobophobia sees the light of day.
If I listed every reason that I think you’re the bee’s knees, this post would be the length of an epic novel. I want you to understand how much I appreciate all that you do, and all that you are, because you ARE awesome.
I think that the blogosphere misses Grizz, but more importantly… I think Grizz misses Grizz-tion. That place of your own, your Man Cave on the web. Where the bullshit of life can be shed creatively. Tumblr is fun, but you need more. I believe that your ‘NOW’ is suffering, and I think you should give this another go.
If you’re not ready, or if you just say no, I won’t be mad, sad, or disappointed, Pinkey Promise. You still deserve The Revolution Award, because you’re YOU. xxoo
* (on a side note… I JUST ‘gotF.W.I.W.! Sorry for my occasional derpiness. AND… we’re changing the pic on your bio! ~ xxoo)

So to all of you reading this, pay it forward. Take this award as your own to bestow on anyone who inspires you. If they choose to honor you by telling everyone about you , so be it. I believe in the freedom to tell someone they are talented without having to list out the seven types of bowel movements you have had in the last month.

The Revolution Award, made by JC, is the one shown at the top of this post. I took it into my art program only to add the recipient’s name… and it came out like you see here. That is my editing, done only for this person.
The FIRST _____ OF THE REVOLUTION started in the comments section of JC’s original post. A fun conversation we had that day (which produced The First Pussy of the Revolution – CJ Riordan of Cliterary Review, The First Shadow of the Revolution…etc. ) hence [yeah, hence!] THE FIRST BARD OF THE REVOLUTION

urbndtny
¹Bard:
Celtic Word pertaining to individuals who are masters in the arts, music, story telling etc, as indeed the Celts were. Rabbie Burns Is a good Example of a Bard. Shakespeare on the other hand is not, as he is an English Twat who wrote boring and historically innacurate Plays.

%d bloggers like this: