coulrophobia

All posts tagged coulrophobia

Coulrophobes – you may want to stay the Hell away from Michigan!

Published October 7, 2016 by Shadow Girl

The nationwide #CreepyClown epidemic has come to Metro Detroit, and in several instances has gone beyond creepy to criminal.

The #CreepyClowns are invading Shadow Girl's territory!

The #CreepyClowns are invading Shadow Girl’s territory!

Multiple sources have confirmed the #CreepyClown incident at Carlson HS on Tuesday.

Details here so far are sketchy because I have not been able to verify information about the gunman, but I spoke to multiple people today who were right there at #CreepyClown Ground Zero.  Even if you haven’t been following the nationwide clown-demic – this shit is terrifying!

A student, dressed as a clown held the teachers and students hostage with a loaded gun as he piped creepy circus music throughout the school. The police had the school on lock-down until the student gunman was eventually arrested. (Watch for upcoming interview with CHS student.)

But, that’s not all… apparently the circus came to Brownstown on Tuesday, because the high school clown brought a posse >.< (oh come on, it’s funny! – you know that this is where ICP is from, right?) and the clowny shenanigans continued throughout the night.

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Police in Downriver are searching for a suspect who robbed the Walgreens on West and Telegraph roads in Brownstown Township on Tuesday night.
According to police, the suspect entered the store with his gun drawn and demanded cash.
“He had on a black hoodie pulled over his head, a white clown mask underneath and dark colored pants,” Deputy Chief Robert Matthews told WWJ’s Charlie Langton.
The suspect escaped with $300 to $400 cash, fleeing the scene in a blue Chevy Impala.

Two women and one young child were also assaulted Tuesday night by men dressed as clowns.
In the first incident a boy was attacked by a man wearing a clown outfit and wielding a knife in a trailer park in Sterling Heights. The boy suffered minor cuts.
The second incident a couple hours later, involved two women who “were approached by three men dressed as clowns at Lowell and Boulder streets in Sterling Heights.
“Three men in clown masks with baseball bats jumped out and started swinging them at the women,” according to the report.

Earlier MI incidents include –

Clinton Township – A motorist posted a video on Twitter at 2:45 a.m. Sunday of a #CreepyClown incident. The tweet says: “We just saw this clown on Cass and Moravian. He tried to follow our car. This is getting insane.” The tweeted video of the clown sighted at the car wash can be found here.

Reports have also been confirmed in Big RapidsPort Huron, and  in Lapeere.

 

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This up-to-the-minute interactive map tracks all #CreepyClown sightings, threats, and scares.

NPR: America’s Creepy Clown Problem Continues

C IS FOR CLOWN by Iain Rob Wright

Published March 30, 2015 by Shadow Girl

Iain Rob Wright’s A – Z Of Horror

First there was ANTICHRIST.
Then there was BOGEYWOMAN.
Now… there is CLOWN.

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Stacey is babysitting ten year old Harry Murry. He’s usually all smiles and silly when she sees him, but he seems a little off tonight. His mom said he had a nightmare last night, but when Stacey asks him about it he says it wasn’t a nightmare – it was a voice. A voice that was whispering to him, and laughing at him. When Harry is getting ready for bed, she tells him that there isn’t anything to be afraid of, and she’ll be here for him if he wakes up or gets scared. Stacey is all cozey on the couch and watching tv when she notices the new statue in the corner. A two foot tall freaky clown statue with floppy yellow shoes and a big blue nose. Who makes these abominations? Satan?
Stephen Kings ‘IT’ comes on tv next, and she’s getting weirded out by the creepy-ass statue with the orange nose, and menacing sneer watching her everywhere she goes. It looks different somehow, and as she’s trying to figure out what it is Harry wakes up feeling sick.
Once she gets him back to bed, and congratulates herself for not peeing on the Murry’s couch, she decides she can’t deal with Pogo the Psycho Statute anymore, and grabs a blanket to deal with the abomination.
Right before covering it up she thinks that it doesn’t look AS scary up close. She’s nineteen years old, she’s too old to be afraid of some white make-up and a big red nose… wait… big red nose?

Iain Rob Wright uses the world’s worst nightmare, and most common phobia to ensure that we will need a night-light and a security blanket for the rest of our lives.
But, maybe not… this is only the third installment in the author’s new A-Z of Horror series. By the time we finish the alphabet – we may never sleep again.

You can find C IS FOR CLOWN on Amazon, or directly from the author’s official website for only 99¢

@iainrobwright

Slaughtertown Circus by K.M. Tepe

Published April 29, 2014 by Shadow Girl

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Slaughtertown Circus
By K.M. Tepe

Amazon says…
Xander is boring. He spends his boring life working for minimal pay (and even less respect) as a data entry clerk. After he’s fired from his job, Xander finds himself lost, poor, and alone; until he meets a stripping clown known only as “Marbles”.

Marbles

Marbles decides to spice up Xander’s life a bit by sleeping with him, but Xander is unaware that clown sex comes with a very unexpected STD. Xander soon learns that his new friend has an agenda of her own. After the entire clown world, Kermisendia, has gone up in flames, Marbles, the daughter of the Leader of Kermisendia, is sent to the Earthly dimension to gather an army and claim a new home for the species, no matter the cost.

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Join Xander, Marbles, and the rest of the extra-terrestrial clown freaks on a big-top adventure through the funhouse mirror as Xander learns that clowns might not really be that funny after all…

And, who can pass anything up when Jesse Wheeler does his best Stefon imitation? – ( Tweaky club kid Stefon Zelesky).

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This book has it all. Transvestites, amputees, cotton candy feces, deep fried corn-dog dicks, vandalism, and so much more. You think you know clowns…? You don’t know shit till you read Slaughtertown Circus.
Jesse Wheeler, author of Dinner at the Vomitropolis

This book really does have it all!
When I first saw it, I didn’t know what to expect – I just knew I HAD TO HAVE IT.

NowEntering

Prologue: The planet Kermisendia
The conception.
Clown sex – sex between Real Clowns, not Ass Clowns, (Trust me, you’ll learn the difference.), is a fun, and slightly disturbing event. Complete with squeaks, honks, and a jubilant CONFETTI completion, we get a front row, voyeuristic learning experience.
One year after this night of fun-passion (fassion- fashion), the happy couple is calling their physician… the baby’s on it’s way! Barnum, the doc, comes in with some insanely disturbing hardware! Lefty Lucy’s vag can only be compared to a Volkswagen in the center ring, because she shoots out a parade of clowns. The proud patents, and us spectators, are soon introduced to a violet eyed clown baby with a heart shaped birth-mark… Marbles.
The Story: Present day – 2014
On Earth, 105 years later, Xander Greaks happens into a small, obscure bar called The Doctor’s Office. He’s lost everything and decides to try and find something new at the bottom of a shot glass. What he found was a new friend in the form of a bartender named Billy.
Billy isn’t the only new thing- he brings a lot of new into Xander’s life. Weird porn, weird colognes, weird music… and Xander is drawn to it all!
Then, there’s the dancer. Those violet eyes, that heart shaped mark, the things that girl could do with a balloon! She introduced herself as Marbles, and…Marbles is all grown up! He’s never been a big fan of clowns, but there is just something about this girl! That joie de vivre, that je ne sais quoi. That little something she left him with after spending a the night together! He knows something is wrong the very next morning, and he’ll soon find out that herpies isn’t the only thing that is for life!
“Neither of them knew of the horrors that would come out of that night. Eh, maybe that was too dramatic.
Here, let’s try this: Shit got fucked up.”
Yes. Yes, it did.
And, you’re going to have to read the book to find out just how fucked up shit got!
There’s eyeball piercing, ice cream trucks, and a balloon chainsaw that brings ‘imminent, but hilarious, destruction’.

Like I said, I didn’t know what to expect from this book, but I am overjoyed with what I got. The story is so unique, and so much fun to read! It hooked me right away. You know I’ve got a thing for words – and K.M. Tepe is a master. From cacophony to breath sacks, her selection was a perfect mixture of interesting, exciting, and fun. The SHB gang are friends, you can tell they talk to each other. K.M.’s vaginal euphemisms reminded me of Don Noble, which reminded me of the song by the Bloodhound Gang that I posted with Don’s story CINNAMON. (On the STRANGE SEX review/discussion.) (Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo).
Don’t let this book get by you!
5/5 Squeaky Boobies for Slaughtertown Circus!

Reach out to the author:

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StrangeHouseBooks

SMILE By Matt Shaw

Published February 10, 2013 by Shadow Girl

Smile
Matt Shaw

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SMILE was my first experience with Matt Shaw.
Let me share this little story with you…you can always just skip to the next paragraph if you’re not interested.
I was on a quest for something to read. Something different. I needed a break from zombies for a minute, and was looking for some good old serial killer depravity. I wasn’t in the mood for True Crime, either. So – my search begins. I found a ‘Diary of a Serial Killer’ that looked promising, warnings all over the place…(you know what I say about warning labels!) It was… meh. Good, but not sick. I ran across another title, ‘Shut The Fuck Up & Die’, and it was great. But, not quite ‘it’. I put the call out to my friends in a Facebook reading group, because I was starting to believe that I was the sick & twizted one. Maybe it was just me? I sure hoped not. My friends came through with flying colors! Names like Wrath James White and Ed Lee were common, but one name kept popping up. Matt Shaw. I swear, 80% of the people who commented dropped his name at some point. THIS WAS FATE! It had to be! I had recently downloaded one of his books – Smile. I was ready! Then, Matt commented on the post, too. He told me if I enjoyed ‘Smile’, drop him a note, he’ll hook me up with a copy of HAPPY EVER AFTER. I know now that he’s like a dealer! First taste free to hook you for life! Man! These stories are like none other. The Happy Ever After series is probably my favorite, because they are so twizted & hilariously wrong, but SMILE will always be special, because it was my first.
Big thanks to my friends in the Kindle Horror Books group, especially to Cathy Hudson & Suzanne Travolta-Delaney. And, of course, to Matt Shaw.

Let me show you the synopsis first. The Amazon Book Description:
He was stood there. Right there. He kept shouting that he was going to go but…. he wasn’t moving… he wasn’t. I thought he was bluffing… I only turned my back on him for a moment. A moment! Had I seen him go… of course I would have followed. Of course I would have gone after my younger brother! The thought of him lost in this shopping centre… alone… it sends shivers down my back.

I have to find him. I WILL find him. Anything to get out of having to make the call home to mum. She’s going to be so mad…

* * * * * * *

Alex’s mum was tired and over-worked. Holding down a full-time job, keeping the house clean and looking after the children – the youngest of which was still a handful with his ADHD as they tried to get the medication right – she just wanted a break. Even if it were only for an afternoon – so she sent Alex to the shopping mall, with his younger brother who was throwing a tantrum because he wanted to go to the toy store to spend his pocket money. She never once thought Alex would lose his younger brother in the crowds.

And no one would have guessed how the day would have ended or just how many more children were missing.

‘Smile’ is a new horror from the best-selling author behind the ‘Happy Ever After Trilogy’ – told through the eyes of the main character as he frantically searches for his missing brother.

I wanted to do that, because this was one of my earlier reviews. It’s short, because I was always scared I might spoil something. I’m using the original review because…if you have read some of my others, I like to review stories, especially Matt’s, as soon as I finish them – to try and catch my truest emotions. Here’s mine:
* I’m not great at reviewing books – but I have to review the ones I love! ‘Smile’ pulled me in from the very first page and I only put it down once – at 49% – and only to post a comment on Facebook about it. I stayed up and was so sleepy this morning – Worth It!! I felt the emotion of the characters so vividly that my stomach had butterflies. I have turned around to find my son not there before, it was only for a second, but Matt described those feelings to a T.

If I could write like this —-> http://www.amazon.co.uk/revew/R28JIYJ0ERUHFQ/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_asr_MPx1E.0HBZQFB <—— that would be exactly what I want to say. Suzanne Delaney left a review that I wish I could mimic.

So – let me just say this… I plan on reading every single word that Matt writes down. I have a new (to me) story already waiting for me to start tonight, and I know which one I'm reading next.

One last thing… Alex, I effing hate clowns too!!

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