Did you miss any of the the AFTER DARKNESS FALLS anthologies? Then now’s your time to catch up! Here’s what Matt says…
“Tis the season to be scary. For all of you out there who like to curl up by the fire and read something spooky by the dancing light here’s a FREE offer for you. You can now pick up my After Darkness Falls anthology collection for free via Amazon. That’s 30 tales of terror & the macabre all with a wicked twist in the tale. Available free from Thurs 29th Oct – Mon 2nd Nov.“
This book isn’t for everyone, if you’re easily offended or closed-minded skip this, but if you like your horror stories to leave you steam rising off your skin you should grab your copy today!
This book is ONLY for the TWISTED!
MASHED is what happens when your favorite cooking show falls into The Twilight Zone! Add a pinch of sex, a dash of humor and a whole lotta horror and you’ve got a recipe for the most TWISTED Anthology out there!
The 17 Sensually Sinister Stories include –
A Woman’s Corn – Two clandestine lovers with more secrets than either of them knew, brings about a special witches brew while the devil stews. By J. Donnait
Charlies Chunky Munching Meat – A tale of obsession over a certain pink meat, gone too far. By Stephen McQuiggan
Halloween Nosh – Two old-world vampires celebrating their love during the holidays with a special feast in the dungeon. By Brandon Ketchum
Biscuit : A Love Story – A baker’s dreams destroyed by a homeless man with unnatural hungers, leads to super-natural revenge. By Grivante
Burnt Scrambled Eggs – What happens when your succubus lover stays over for breakfast? By Devon Widmer
The Disagreeable Dinner – Ever eaten a bad meal? Not like this one. Join us for this strange and hilarious case of food poisoning By Mark Daponte
Sugar – Honey is sweet, but when a potential sugar daddy turns out to be one of her high school teachers, a night of planned BDSM fun ends in a most unsavory of ways. By Darla Dimmelle
The Henry Problem – Fruit as an aphrodisiac, exorcisms for dummies? All that and more! By John Grey
Nibble, Nibble, My Wolf – It’s all the rage to reimagine fairy tales these days and this story gets it right in the most beautifully twisted and erotic way. ByJ.L. Boekestein
The Wrath of the Buttery Bastard Taters – GMO’s are out of hand. A couples romantic dinner turns into a nightmare when their frankenfood decides to eat them instead. By Alex Colvin
Sauce – When cooking lessons lead to a new fetish, narcissistic Bart, takes self-satisfaction to a new level. By Steven Carr
The Care and Feeding of your Personal Demon – Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes, asking for a little help from down below can come with a lifetime of demented and hilarious torment. By Maxine Kollar
P.A.C.D. The Kitchen of Tomorrow, Today! – Advancements in technology are often quickly perverted for sexual experimentation. Find out what happens when a couple’s cooling romance heats back up with a new kitchen appliance. By R.A. Goli
Arabica – Do you like coffee? Maybe a little too much? Here’s a tale of a woman using BDSM aversion therapy to overcome her caffeine addiction. By CobaltJade
Toilet Manners – Marital impropriety leads to the strangest meal of a man’s life after a visit to a glory hole inside a fancy french restaurant. By Eddie Generous
The Stray – Is the story of a man’s lifelong dedication to helping strays. But, what happens when one gets a little upset when he announces he is moving away. By Calypso Kane
The Old Man in the Suit – Voodoo and baked goods outside a lesbian bar during Mardi Gras. By Nicholas Paschall
I need to check out more work from all the authors included in MASHED!
While I loved just about every story here, I think that my top 5 stand-outs are… 1.) “P.A.C.D. THE KITCHEN OF TOMORROW, TODAY!” By R.A. Goli 2.) “BISCUIT: A LOVE STORY” By Grivante 3.) “THE CARE & FEEDING OF YOUR PERSONAL DEMON” By Maxine Kollar 4.) “THE STRAY” By Calypso Kane And #5 is a tie between “SAUCE” By Steve Carr, and “THE DISAGREEABLE DINNER” By Mark Daponte
‘NEXT DOOR‘ follows multiple stories of everyday couples as they go about their lives. With murderers, cannibals, hookers, and zombies – come see who lives ‘Next Door’ in this anthology film from (our pal) Matt Shaw, one of the UK’s leading horror authors.
I love this one. I put the book down because I really started to think about the different people… Maybe I’m a bit more twisted than some, cuz I think I’d like to sit and people-watch at this point, too
I never thought about how this could be a viable source of income for certain individuals, or how fucked up it is when you think about it for more than a minute!
The mental torture that they must endure… wow …
I feel like I’ve read this one before, but not sure when or where.
*(Update: it was in the first volume of the D.O.A. Extreme Horror Anthology)
It made me feel claustrophobic.
It’s funny how most people, myself included, value the lives of animals over most humans.
Hmmm. I suppose that kids don’t really understand how wrong certain things are – but most kids don’t have these feelings, do they? I’m not sure.
Good story telling got me in the right head space, but I still don’t know if he’s just a very lonely & confused little boy, or something much darker.
Not sure what to make of this yet. I have to chew on it for a bit longer.
Angie, not exactly ‘boys will be boys’ material, is it?
Judy, think a little harder and/or longer when it comes to your mom, huh?
And, well, Courtney… If vibrators killed spiders, we wouldn’t need men at all now would we?
I wonder… If ‘Death’ wanted to find/have/keep love, could s/he?
It’s a heartbreaking thought, so an existential crisis might be a lighter topic to dwell on.
* I especially like the “self-inflicted stupidity” sentence 😉
Bypass my squeamishness you say… 😶
X SKIPPING Y:
Best beginning sentence ever.
Ishmael can suck it!
Well. That was disturbing.
THE BLUE SCHNOOKLYBOB:
I’m not going to try to play the scholar, and say that this story’s ‘symbolism is clearly a statement about the blah blah & bullshit in today’s society…’
And, honestly, I’m usually not into sci-fi, but I enjoyed this short.
I’m still giggling about how we, as humans, have better profanity, and our bitching is top notch!
BTW – I want a schnooklybob. A pink one, not a blue one.
TASTELESS: WARNING: “THERE IS NO SAFE-WORD”. RE-READ THE INTRODUCTION TO THIS BOOK. KNOW THE DEFINITION OF TRANSGRESSIVE HORROR. READ THE #RULES. THEN READ THE FORWARNING BEFORE THIS STORY.
A review? I just can’t.
I needed to nope out at the second page, but I forced myself to read every word, with tears streaming down my face. Why? Because I used to know a woman who’s story is quite similar. The woman was not involved, the man was the birth father, and the infant (don’t judge me) thankfully did not survive. Like the author states in the forewarning, the physical logistics were too much for me to even try to comprehend.
I read it for Nevaeh.
* The reality of addiction is darker than any fiction. * “Drinking and drugging provide the height of human experience. It’s the promise of heaven on earth, but the hell that follows is a constant hunger, a cold emptiness.”
Before I read even one story in this ‘reality horror’ anthology – Mark Matthews had me crying so hard that I could barely see. He presents an addiction anthology with compassion, casting no aspersions.
I wan’t to meet Mark Matthews, and give him the tightest hug ever.
“Imagine yourself drowning and being told not to swim to the surface for air.
Obsessions should be so mild.”
I’ll have my full review posted soon – I was going over my notes for this review, and I’m ’emotional’ again…
This was so much fun to read! And – you could feel that everyone was having fun while putting this book together, that shines through. As for the winners… I tended to agree with the other judges, for the most part – I’m not going to say which stories, or authors that I voted for – you should read this collection, and make up your own mind!
* originally published for the 2013 Holiday Horror Binge & Purge event on DECEMBER 29, 2013
I’ve completed my [Goodreads] ˙·٠•●♥ 2013 Reading Challenge ♥●•٠·˙– (ahead of schedule, and beyond my personal goal – go, me!) But, I’m still sitting here wishing I had read so much more! I need more time! More hours in the day, more days in the week… UGH! It’s so frustrating! I started reading titles from StrangeHouse Books in 2013, and I wish I could say that I’m ending this year all caught up, that I’ve devoured them all quicker than aCannibal in Fat Camp!::sigh:: That, however, is not the case. But, it gives me a goal for 2014!!
“This collection of 9 twisted tales of Christmas horror brings together weirdo literary talent from around the world, all with the sole purpose of turning the most sacred of holidays on its head, and making sweet, sweet love to its defenseless ear holes!”
“Join SHB ring leader Kevin Strange, as well as StrangeHouse anthology alumni Rich Bottles Jr., Jesse Wheeler, KM Tepe, and newcomers like Lindsey Goddard and MP Johnson on this sometimes magical, always fucked up journey to the north pole. We promise you’ll never look at Christmas the same way ever again!”
For last year’s‘HOLIDAY HORROR BINGE & PURGE’event, my main Holiday book to read, and review, wasA HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE. (It turned out to be a book of all holidays, not just Christmas, but ‘Irreverent Merriment, Diabolical Debauchery, and Gory Good Times‘ were had by all!!)This year, I started earlier and got to fit in many more books from my holiday horror wish list. Two of this year’s reads are fighting for the top spot on my Happy List – A Very StrangeHouse Christmasis one of the two.
Kafka’s Run byBilly Tea: The Kafka’s are Gift Heads & they’re in the run. Gift Heads are a slave race to the fat man. Raised in prison camps, tended to by elves, and eventually beheaded when they reach maturity. Their severed gift-heads are offered as sacrifice to appease the tiny Earth Gods. Fantastic story.
Do Not Buyby MP Johnson: A ‘Tickle This’ kind of story! Quick, gross, and wonderful!
The Unlistedby Jesse Wheeler: YOU WANT NAUGHTY? You got it with this story! Sex, debauchery, violence, & more!
Things in here had me cracking up (in between a gag, or a cringe) – one hilarious fact about these elves… they shit the cookie dough that Mrs. Claus bakes for Santa. When TSHTF, there’s a line about an elf who got so scared “he nearly nogged his pants”!! (It makes perfect sense that they pee egg nog, if they shit dough, right?!) WARM & FRESH!
Dear Santa Clausby K.M. Tepe: A letter to Santa from the Naughty K.M. Tepe – If I were the fat man, I’d make sure every item on that list was specially delivered with added bows made of cash…
*Message for K.M. Tepe: Ever since I opened up my very first MySpace account, I’ve used the same line in the About Me section of practically every account – still using it today. After reading your bio in the back of this book, I just wanted to make a note of it just in case you see it yourself somewhere. There’s no “This town ain’t big enough fir the both of us” reasoning or mentality behind this note – It’s more like a brunch invitation! If you’re ever in Detroit, look me up… we can hang out in the alley behind Poetry Slam, guzzling coffee, and poking the corpse of Wino Willie!
Blood On The Highwayby Lindsey Goddard: The anguish of a mother’s loss is not bound by species. A woman, her husband, and his brother are driving through a terrible storm, on they’re way for what was supposed to be a relaxing holiday. This is a very good SS! I’m hoping that Lindsey sees this and can recommend a better pic – one that looks like the inside of her brain!
Kathi the Sexy Elfby Rich Bottles Jr.: A department store Santa, who is following in his dad’s footprints as the jolly fat man for the same store, decides to do something remarkably sweet for his ‘Helper’ this year. The helper, Kathi, makes a very sexy elf, and she has some surprises of her own in store for Santa… I can’t wait to read some of the stories in Rich’s ‘humorrorotica‘ genre! Some links are provided at the bottom.
Christmas with the Familyby Jonathan Byrd: This one should be called“A FUCKED UP FAMILY CHRISTMAS”. Other Jonathan Byrd titles on Amazon include – BIG, The Jar, UNSHACKLED, and The Mommies Club. But, after reading this short, I’m not entirely convinced that it’s the same guy!! 🙂
The Witch who Fucked Christmasby Kevin Strange: This story is a tie in to one of Kev’s movies, but it stands alone just fine. Set in STRANGEVILLE, ILLINOIS, a worn out & broke down Santa is about to go head to head with The Hag of Horrors herself – Sasparilla, The Weed Witch. The victor will hold the bag that contains all the magic of Christmas. But, you can’t expect the Hag of Horrors to play fair… can you? Nixon and Hogan Smoke Christmas YouTube trailer Hack Films / Kevin Strange on YouTube
I’m Dreaming of a White Doomsdayby Mike Lombardo: Save the best for last, Kev? Yeah. I’m going to get this review posted, then go slit my wrists. xxoo ♥
After Notes, Links, & Other Randomly Strange[House] Fun
I’ve been adding and updating this section since the original post, and I’m still not finished. I would like to include as much info as possible for each author that is/was involved with SHB while the books below were published. This section will eventually become a StrangeHouse Spotlight Page **If YOU are one of those authors, please – contact me! I’d like to post any info/links that you would like fans to know about!!***
VOYEURISM, in 140 characters or less – @_StrangeHouse @kevinthestrange @freaktension @BillyTea_AMDAD @tusitalabruni @SFerrariFOS
Other Books from Rich Bottles Jr. ‘LUMBERJACKED‘ “[…] makes Deliverance look like a family raft trip down the Lower Gauley” ‘Hellhole West Virginia‘ “Eco-friendly vampires, beach-yearning zombies and sex-starved she-devils.” ‘The Manacled‘ “What happens when twin brothers lease out the former West Virginia State Penitentiary with the false purpose of filming a documentary on supernatural phenomena, but their true intention is to make a pornographic movie? Chaos ensues as the disturbed spirits of murdered convicts, along with the reanimated dead from the neighboring Indian Burial Mound, take their vengeance on the unwary and undressed trespassers. Zombies, ghosts, mobsters and porn collide in this bizarro tale from horror author Rich Bottles Jr.” *I HAVE TO GET THIS BOOK!* (Update – Rich sent me a copy of this, along with some awesome author swag! Thanks, Rich!!)
Check out ‘Gross-Out Author’ Jesse Wheeler’sDinner at the Vomitropolis –I have this, but haven’t had the nerve to start reading it yet.
Visit the official website of Mike Lombardo’sReel Splatter Productions! They’re a small independent horror-comedy troupe based out of Lancaster, Pennsylvania whose goal is to prove artistic expression can involve necrophilia & chainsaws! Visit RSP now, and see some horrible monstrosities commit unspeakable acts! YAY!!
Writer/Director/FX Artist and author of this book’s SS titled‘I’M DREAMING OF A WHITE DOOMSDAY‘– Mike “Dr.Chud” Lombardo just released‘THE STALL‘on DVD and it is ready to ship! It’s the story of a young pizza shop employee whi finds himself trapped in a public restroom during the Lovecraftian apocalypse. The DVD contains buckets of exclusive bloody extras that aren’t available on YouTube.
“Follow only if you be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair, so brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further!” “For death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.”
‘Experience demented rabbits, chocolate obsessed children drowning in their own greed, serial killers, resurrection and more in this collection guaranteed to kill the cravings of your sweet tooth.’
Desert by Matt Shaw “If you’re good – you get chocolate! If you’re bad… He hops right on by…”
Matt Shaw kicks off this collection with a dark tale about a boy who is on Easter break from school, but wishing he was anywhere but home at the moment.
There is a strange noise coming from the hallway – had someone broken in to abduct him, or to hurt his family? Terrified, he grabs a cricket bat and ventures out to see what is lurking in the shadows…
On a more personal note…
DESERT is a heartbreaking short story – ‘Justin’ is such a brave, wise, and generous little boy who is continuously hurt by the man who is supposed to love him unconditionally. Reading this (and please forgive me for saying this…), makes me want to hunt down the “Senior Sperm Donor” and punch him in the face. So… Happy Fucking Easter – let’s move on.
Bastard Bunny by David Owain Hughes Don’t make fun of the guy in the bunny suit – you never know when he could just SNAP and lose his shit! Take a lesson from the people who survive office massacres – throw the weirdos a Snickers every once in a while, and keep your comments to yourself.
Duncan Ralston provides us with an entirely different definition of ‘resurrection’ in His Is Risen!
Want to know more about this SS? There is only one way to find out what is behind the door…
*Bonus points for teaching me ‘DRWS MARWOLAETH’.
The Chickens and the 3 Gods by Kit Power
The chickens loved C’ra and R’ak. They tried their best to please, and defer to their Hen & Cock Humans – until the day they brought the mini-human, B’rok to the garden. B’rok brought terror and destruction, yet C’ra and R’ak did nothing to save them. The chickens had been forsaken by their Gods, and now a change in power is in order.
Wicker Baskets by Kindra Sowder
Little Jesse loves any holiday that brings with it the promise of candy. He goes to bed excited to find out what the Easter Bunny will bring him in the morning. What he finds when he wakes up will make this an Easter that he will never forget.
My Last Easter by Jack Rollins First off, kudos to the author for the name of his main character! Way to show some love, Jack! Second – the little sister, Charlotte, grated my nerves… what a whine-y, tattle tale little bitch! I’d look forward to my last Easter if I had to be around that every day.
Lepus by Stuart Keane
SK puts a modern horror spin onto the mythology, astrology, and lexology of Lepus – and it’s genius.
FunFact: I made a Kindle Note @ Location 1358 that reads: “Cue background music HERE” (I always have background music. The CD will be available for purchase at my funeral).
Little Bunny by Glenn Rolfe
The fluffy brown bunny draws Marlow Shuman deep into Brenner’s Woods where the line between her nightmares and reality is blurred. She comes face to face with the past, and things aren’t what they seemed – but which version of “the truth” is correct, and who can be trusted?
Run Rabbit Run by Michael Bray
Gerald Rose is going to make a statement this year and show people the error of their ways. Easter isn’t about gorging Cadburry eggs & marshmallow Peeps – no sir. Reverend Rose is going to show people the true meaning of Easter.
When A Bunny Snaps by Jim Goforth
Josiah is celebrating Easter at one of his favorite bars – Fantasy Dress. He’s on the wrong side of sober when he sees Bunny sneak out for a smoke break, and he decides to follow her to have a little ‘chat’. Beaten, bloody, and bruised in the alley behind the bar – she can take no more. Something in her snaps, and nothing is going to stop her from getting the payback that she deserves.
Help Me by Neil Buchanan
Jo wakes up from a wicked bender with very hazy snapshots of the night before starting to come into focus. There’s also a little voice calling out for help inside his head – which he is not in the mood for right now.
However, Ishtar is in no mood to be ignored.
Educating Horace by Matt Hickman
Being 14 isn’t a picnic for any kid, but for Horace Davidson it is a nightmare. He has been coddled by his mother his entire life, becoming an overweight, under-educated misfit bullied relentlessly by his peers. He escapes the torment by losing himself in daydreams & fantasies, but not today. Today is Easter, and his mom has more than chocolate to put in his wicker basket this year.
Deb Loves Robbie by Mark West
This short made me feel like I was riding through a Romeo and Juliet themed Tunnel of Love, if it were created by David Lynch, and George Romero!
♥ ‘Robbie & Deb ~ Nor Death Do Us Part’ ♥
The Tradition is explained to us by Kyle M. Scott. Local legend says that the true spirit of Easter, embodied by a creature that predates Christianity, demands sacrifice in order to keep the children of Abbington Wood safe year after year.
The first born child of any household, under the age of 18, has to paint themselves onto an egg and offer it up to the creature. If the representation of the soul isn’t offered up willingly, the creature will come to collect the real thing. You don’t want to do things the hard way.
Hey-Zeus by Duncan P. Bradshaw
Easter Eve is one of the biggest bar nights of the year, I’ve missed more than one Easter Sunday breakfast with the fam because I was too hungover to even think about smelling ham & deviled eggs 😡 Ed, Guy, and Harry party like goddamn rock stars on Maundy Thursday. I thought I’ve partied, but I’ve NEVER reenacted The Easter Story with my friends! 3:)
Feldman’s Rabbit by Rich Hawkins
The man that entered the old house was shivering, starving, and half-frozen, but determined to survive. He can sustain with the Easter basket he found – “Feldman’s going to be just fine.” But, is he? Is the house driving him mad, the chocolate Easter eggs he consumed, or was he half-mad to begin with? It doesn’t matter, because Feldman is happier than he could ever remember being.
On The Third Day by Graeme Reynolds
What have I been telling you all these years?
“If it shambles like a zombie, and groans like a zombie…”
…you know how to finish that sentence.
Easter Eggs by Chantal Noordeloos
If a newly pregnant Rosemary Woodhouse traveled to Summerisle with her husband for a pagan holiday ritual with the fam – it might turn out something like EASTER EGGS. Chantal has captured elements of two iconic horror films and weaved them into a darkly original story that will stay with you long after you’ve finished.
Easter Hunt by author JR Park
Old Pat was hiding this year’s batch of chocolate eggs for the Church’s annual Easter Egg Hunt when he disappeared into the odd, cream colored mist. Once Sunday services were over, and the strange mist dissipated, the town’s children run towards the field to begin their search. They find a lot more than eggs to put in their baskets this year!
The Jesus Loophole by Luke Smitherd
Forget about bunnies & eggs; Easter is about Christ’s torture porn style death as atonement for all the sins of man, allowing us to ask for – and receive – forgiveness. But… what if you feel no remorse for you sins? Is it possible to “cheat the system”? If you want to find a loophole in God’s law there are two men you can ask… Kevin Smith, and Luke Smitherd.