Here we are with all of October before us, the time of year we wait for, the thirty one days we can let our hair down, and be ourselves.
This is our first year as readers with Godless Horror, and all the best of what we love is at our fingertips for so inexpensive that it almost don’t feel right! The authors are extremely giddy, putting out new content just for us, and I know my immediate TBR has never been so exciting!!
There’s just one problem, or problem area. Yeah, you read the title. I know that I feel like even though it’s going to give me the full on heebie-jeebies, It’s time to finally read Mother Maggot by Simon McHardy, Maggot Girl by Otis Bateman, Hell, even Lindsay Crook serves some up in Love Stumped! If my ‘badge of honor’ is what gets me started, fine, because I know that once I’m into them I’ll be laughing, and crying, and gagging, and laughing more because of the gags!!
Are you like me, and think you’ll be ok? Or maybe you’re worse, but you’re friends with the author(s) and think it would look bad if you didn’t R&R their books? It doesn’t matter what is holding us back, because I think I ran into an accidental cure.
But we can’t do it alone. We are going to call on our friend Sea Caummisar for some quick CBT! She can help train our brains to not see these vile, disgusting, shit eating hell bugs for what they are! She wrote a story called ‘PUNPKINS FOR CHEAP’. Run grab it from Amazon now. I’ll wait. Because this grotesque horror novelette is going to cure our phobias, and tame our gag reflexes! Have a peek at her South Park style disclaimer – This book should never be read by anyone. It’s gross and immature. It’s almost as if a small child wrote it. If you enjoy poorly written dark humor, you might like this book. I mean, there’s a chapter titled ‘Tampons Are Not Yummy’. So use your imagination as to what kind of story this is.
What if maggots evolved and wanted to take over the world?
A maggot has invaded Jimbo’s brain. The maggot has plans to make baby maggots and sell them inside jack-o-lanterns..
Get yourself settled in a nice comfy spot, cup of coffee or Mtn. Dew. You skipped dinner, right? (Hey, they’re STILL maggots, it just a safeguard for your carpet.)
If you finish this story, I don’t see how you could NOT want a little baby maggot of your very own! Dress it up, feed it 💩, have cute & quirky little names for all of it’s brothers and sisters, and talk baby talk to them all! “Who’s gonna take over the world one day… You are aren’t you!”
I know that I am feeling pretty empowered since I just reread PUNPKINS, (well – this time I listened to the audiobook version), and I think I’m about ready to see if I can make it through these titles without quitting, or puking. Thank you, Sharon ❣️ We owe you!
On the other hand – I take no responsibility for your brain, and if this has the opposite effect, if you become so phobic that you can’t even eat rice, or you try to claw your face off because you see maggots in the chicken… hey – anything for Halloween, right? 🎃
Happy reading – stay safe & stay healthy!
P, L & N 💋
Mothet Maggot, Maggot Girl, and Love Stumped are all available on the Godless app and http://www.Godless.com
Punpkins For Cheap is available on KU, and Amazon.
May the Fourth Be With You!
Fun Fact!! I can add Rosie the Riveter to the official Michigan Madmen list! Awesome!
The true identity of Rosie the Riveter has been the subject of considerable debate. For years, the inspiration for the woman in the Westinghouse poster was believed to be Geraldine Hoff Doyle of Michigan, who worked in a Navy machine shop during World War II. Other sources claim that Rosie was actually Rose Will Monroe, who worked as a riveter at the Willow Run Bomber Plant near Detroit. Monroe also was featured in a promotional film for war bonds. Either way, I think we can claim her. YES WE CAN!
In case the world needs to know these things… I’m officially ready to see Halloween stuff… Everywhere. So, ok world, if you could get on that…
P, L & N 💘
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👻 Samhain / Halloween 🎃
If you’ve been here for any length of time you already know that I’m still a huge fan of Social D./Mike Ness. And, if you know know me, you’ll know that there hasn’t been one day in the past thirty years that I haven’t been planning for our inevitable Kidnapper/Victim life together.
We (The Dark Defender and myself) had our t-shirts for over a month before we realized – (he found out and told me… can’t leave that out!) – that Mike Ness is actually the big brain behind ‘Social Distancing Skelly‘! Dontcha just love ‘im?! You don’t have to be at my psychotic level of FanGirl to appreciate it.
I wonder how long it will be before he suggests we add masks to our tattoos!! 🤣
So… how’s your quarantine?
P, L & N 💋
Photo Credit: Ava Sol
So you’re feelin’ a little frisky, and can’t wait to get yourself alone for some quality time… Just as you relax enough so that the world melts away, it’s just you and the feelings… your dad/mom busts in – (you forgot to lock your front door, and s/he has no boundaries).
That’s a horror story! It’s at least horrific… Well, I needed a reason to repost – you got something better? Hahaha!! Enjoy this from Thought Catalog –
By January NelsonUpdated July 29, 2020
1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows.
2. DJ the VJ.
3. Dopamine farming.
4. Double clicking your mouse.
5. Badgering the witness.
6. Summoning the semen demon.
7. Blood bending.
8. Shaking hands with the unemployed.
9. Making Jesus cry.
10. Five knuckle shuffle.
11. Playing some five on one.
12. Churning the butter.
13. Tickle the pickle.
14. Whackin’ the Krakin.
15. Polish the pearl.
16. Waxing your carrot.
17. Man handle the ham candle.
18. Putting on a puppet show.
19. Releasing the poison.
20. Giving yourself a handshake.
21. Ringing the devil’s doorbell.
22. Holding a sausage hostage.
23. Flicking the bean.
24. Petting the bunny.
25. Juice the goose.
26. Hand to gland combat.
27. Single player sex.
28. Dishonorable discharge.
29. Wiggling the yogurt hose.
30. Menage a moi.
1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows. 2. DJ the VJ. 3. Dopamine farming. 4. Double clicking your mouse. 5. Badgering the witness. 6. Summoning the semen demon. 7. Blood bending. 8. Shaking hands with the unemployed. 9. Making Jesus cry. 10. Five knuckle shuffle. 11. Playing some five on one. 12. Churning the…30 Super Hilarious Ways To Say ‘Masturbation’ — Thought Catalog
The Dark Defender chimed in with his answer… “OMG, GET IT OFF ME!!” 😝
P, L & N 💋