Smothering Pillows™ (Pat. Pending) are quaint and novel devices which serve as subtle warnings to family members who have a tendency to act up and out. Embroidered on the front with the words ‘Smothering Pillows‘ framed by flowers, and on the rear with messages of the toughest love, like ‘Stop Struggling‘, ‘It’s for the best‘, ‘It Will all be over soon‘, ‘Only Dreams Now‘, ‘No more Tears‘, ‘Shush now‘ and for southerners; ‘Bless your heart‘. We will also take suggestions for other pillows, and as rewards for special sweeties, allow them the choice of available embroidered messages.
Although you have seen the prototypes in the video, we would like to increase the quaintness and mawkishness of the pillows through careful redesign of the embroidery. We will also select a fabric which will not only be soft to the touch and which can shape to the contours of the human face, but one which will be firm enough so the wielder’s hands will not be dislodged by flailing limbs. A substantial portion of the funds will go to producing the first run, marketing and legal representation.
There are also negligible items we need to pay for, such as packaging and of course the attachment of disclaimer tags which state ‘For entertainment purposes only, unless you are entertained by smothering, then no.’
C.V. HUNT’S writing reminds me of Debbie Goad, and the articles she wrote for ANSWER ME!. (if you’re not sure, YES… it’s a compliment).
It takes a special kind of person to devote their entire being to hating things that deserve to be hated! C.V. HUNT gets bonus points for turning that hatred into ART ::winks::
I’ve had a few of the author’s titles on my TBR list for quite some time – (eg: HOW TO KILL YOURSELF, THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE, OTHER PEOPLE’S SHIT, etc.. I wish that I had already grabbed at least one more so I wouldn’t have to bring a new author to bed tonight – things tend to get awkward when you just grab that book by it’s dust jacket, and drag it into the bedroom…
“They say girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. And boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails. But what is everyone else made of? Misery and Death and Everything Depressing. Seven stories by C.V. Hunt.”
TO SAY MOTHER TERESA WAS SHOCKED WHEN SHE WOKE UP IN HELL WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT:
* Big Guns Upstairs is growing weary of only getting virgins into bed, and Basement Guy doesn’t even want to look at another whore. They got together and came to an agreement for a trade. (See! Sex DOES make the world go ’round!) There is one slight problem, but it’s nothing that ten years with Mother Teresa can’t fix.
A bottomless abyss awaiting your secrets…
NO ROOM FOR A CHILD:
Have you ever wanted to visit the Winchester house?
If forced to choose just one – I think that BABY HATER is my favorite SS¹ in this collection. It’s about a NEW kind of Super-Hero who punches babies in the face for the good of all women-kind. (yeah, I said Super-Hero… it’s not like she’s punching puppies & kittens – jeeze!).
I can picture myself as a Serial Baby Puncher – knocking out the little ‘eating, shitting, and crying lumps of flesh,’ while achieving some sort of inner peace. It’s for the greater good!
I can certainly see some ppl getting all bent outta shape from BABY HATER, even though it made me laugh – heartily.
It’s something you need as much as food to eat, and air to breathe. But, we often overlook the importance of human contact until it’s almost impossible to dig ourselves out of the pit of depression we’ve dug. Will any human contact do the job?
THE LAST ENTRY:
Have you ever really contemplated the lives (or deaths) of Siamese twins? I guess that I’ve just always made the assumption that if one of them dies… the other one dies, too. If both twins didn’t die, how would the living twin cope with the loss?
The huge increase of #CircusPunk² in the horror genre has brought new life to carnivals & side shows – and I couldn’t be happier!
DOROTHY BHAWL is the one responsible for the kick ass cover image!
¹ ‘SS’ is just my personal [see: bullshit] lazy-ass short-hand way of not typing out ‘short story / ies’.
² CircusPunk is a sub-genre of punk/bizarro literature created by Charie D. La Marr.
The genre encapsulates circuses, carnivals, midways, side-shows, and can also include stories of birthday party clowns, freaks, magicians, circus animals and costumed characters.
CircusPunk is a blend of truth and fantasy that takes in the usual bizarro mixture of fun, sex, satire and splatter.
D for Degenerate is the forth installment in Iain Rob Wright’s A-Z of Horror series, and the one that has been BANNED from Amazon.
If you’re anything like me, knowing something has been banned is a huge selling point, and usually the only info I need 🙂 Adding Iain Rob Wright’s name to that fact only upped my obsession level.
Banned from Amazon doesn’t mean banned from existence though. So… never fear my twisted friends! It’s available directly from Iain’s website.
This is the tale of Nicholas Lempit. A con-man, thief, and degenerate. His dark desires have made him a traveler, and tonight’s dalliances lead him to a chance encounter with a kind, old farmer. Arthur is 83 years old, and has been alone since he lost his wife. For almost 20 years it’s been just him, his farm and his horses.
If Lempit can gain Arthur’s trust, he may be able to stay for a while. Lend the old man a hand, keep him company, be close to the object of his furry fantasies…
Arthur has a similar idea – but Lempit might just never leave.
*Bonus points to Iain for his cleverly placed nod to Deliverance. Not a blatant reference, just enough to make readers inwardly smile at a very uncomfortable moment.
*Using the term ‘bird’ for a woman doesn’t seem to be as common as it once was. Maybe it’s just a more common UK practice… IDK. Whether it was used deliberately, or just the way the author talks, when I read it in THIS story… I was caught off guard by my chuckle.
Click HERE to get your copy of D IS FOR DEGENERATE from Iain Rob Wright’s official blog for only 99¢.
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