Spoiler Review / Discussion

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Beer Run of the Dead by D.F. Noble

Published May 5, 2014 by Shadow Girl

♬ It’s the end of the world as we know it, where can I get a dime?♬

Original cover from StrangeHouseBooks

Original cover from StrangeHouseBooks

☣ ☣ ☣ ☣ ☣ 5/5 Biohazards for BRotD

Action packed dumbass, zombie killing, booze hounding, jiggly tits, of action full of super action! Beer Run of the Dead is the first book in a series sure to quench your thirst.
Follow Kip, Rock and Steady, as they struggle to survive and stay completely shit faced in the face of certain undead doom. These three unlikely heroes hold the key to humanity’s salvation, but will they succeed being inebriated as they are? Not everyone who saves the world is a rocket scientist, a super hero, or a handsome actor turned politician. Sometimes people who save the world… they’re fucking idiots.

New beer label cover from Rooster Republic Press

New beer label cover from Rooster Republic Press

I really gotta tell ya, I’ve been a bit zombied out lately. Add to that the fact that I can’t get the end to my zombie SS written, and… it kind of bums me out. SOO… it took me a little while to open this book up. But, once I did – I couldn’t put it down!
Beer Run Of The Dead has made it’s way into my top five favorite zombie stories. Ever. (Sharing spots with Tonia, and Cal – you know who I go on and on about!).
The saviors of mankind in this story, our warriors of booze & justice, are Rock, Steady, & Kip – these are friends of yours. Whether you know them now, or knew them in your past, I’ll bet that at least 80% of us picture that friend when reading this. Take a bit of everyone’s favorite unlikely hero – Ash, (Bruce Campbell), get him FUBAR, and then double the humor – and that’s what I want you to expect when you start BRotD.
I don’t know what else to tell you about the plot without ruining the story for you, but I think what has already been said in the synopsis is enough. I made so many notes and highlights while reading – but I can’t let you in on all of it!! I can’t NOT touch on some of it, though.
Soft warning here… (not like an EBS warning, more like the required weekly test of the EBS.) The remainder of this post contains bits that are kind of spoilers – but only spoilers for scenes, not spoilers for the story line.

Some of my favorite things in this book…

There is a ‘shit & slide’ – (you’ll see!), Cartman quotes, and a woman who gets beat with her own dildo – (and loses her teeth from it)!
Kip’s mom has a muscley bf, who is like any newcomer into a relationship with a teenager – he is trying way to hard to be buddy-buddy, and trying even harder to be cool. That makes him an instant d-bag, you know the type. He is gonna be a bro! Well, first thing he does is shotguns a hit of his joint to Kip, and his reaction is the first thing that had me dying. Kip goes to his room alone & thinks

“My head feels like an electric blanket with a fan blowing. Fuck I’m hungry. Fuck I wanna nap. Maybe I should call grandma sometime, it’s been a while…”

– I’m just cracking up – I know your pain, bro!!

Here’s something to let you into my head, to show how goofy my brain works…
In chapter 3, (at about 9% in) -when TSHTF, there’s a line that says… “A thick wall of smoke rolls steadily down the street…”
I highlighted ‘smoke rolls steadily down the street…’, and I made a note so I’d remember to tell you guys (and the author) that I automatically sang that to QUEEN’s ‘Another One Bites The Dust’. I had it stuck in my head for the rest of the day, and now that I’m re-living the moment… it’s back. So… this is your mandatory ear-rape. Now you’ll have it stuck in your head, too.
Not long after the Jock Jams 57 sing-a-long, still at about nine percent, there is a scene that had me literally laughing out loud, and I had to read it to my husband –
The scene itself is utterly hilarious.
Add the fact that I’ve been working a full time McJob since the GM layoffs and it turned to pure comedy gold!

There is a guy ordering breakfast in the drive-thru of a fast food joint. The customer, Mike, is the epitome of ‘that guy’. The asshole customer who wants something to be wrong, so he can bitch. If there is nothing wrong, he’ll make something up. (Remember… TSHTF moment has already begun, things are blowing up, sirens going off – and he’s pissed about having to wait to order). Already irrationally upset, when he orders a Coke but the place only carries Pepsi – he starts to lose his shit, and then the real fun begins!

“Is Pepsi all right?”
“What? No, I won’t drink that shit. Give me a Sprite instead.”
“Is Sierra Mist okay?”
“Are you fucking serious? What is this shit?”
“So, a Sierra Mist?”
“No, I said are you seri—“
“One Sierra Mist, got it. So we have two biscuits and gravy, two hash—“
“I don’t want a goddamn Sierra Mist! Listen, jackass, I want—“
This time, it isn’t the pimple-faced kid on the other side of the speaker distracting the Cardinals fan, but an ambulance that comes wailing down the street from out of nowhere. Weaving in and out of traffic, the thing is all over the road, hopping the curb before finally nailing a car at the intersection. Glass shatters, metal buckles, and the car does a near three-sixty before colliding with oncoming traffic.
“Frikkin’ shit!” the Cardinals fan exclaims.
“Sorry sir, we don’t carry Mr. Pibb.” (bah ha ha!)
– stuff happens, more stuff happens, and then…
“What the fuck is going on…” the Cardinals fan softly moans, from the relative safety of his car.
“Excuse me, sir, did you say foot-long hot dog?”

Last funny that I’m going to point out is when Kip meets Rock & Steady. They’ve been through a lot already, and
Kip describes some things he’d had to do when TSHTF. Rock & Steady seem sympathetic, and they proceed to tell Kip about how/why they’d had to kill their girlfriends when the end of the world started…
I don’t want to ruin all my favorite parts for you, so I’m just making a note to say… don’t miss it!

BRotD-KipEvans

D.F. Noble is a hell of a writer.
He has three stories in the SHB anthology STRANGE SEX.
His SS CINNAMON had a sci-fi edge to it, and reminded me of an old movie I once saw called (I think…) CHERRY 2000.
His SS INTERLOPER is about the big guy upstairs seducing the women on earth, and the SS FOREIGNER, well… FOREIGNER made me gag. A lot.
All the shorts in SCARY FUCKING STORIES were great, too. Plus, I feel like I got a little peek inside his head.
What I’m saying is this – he’s not a guy you can jam into one category. Multi-genre, multi-talent.

Note to Don and/or Arthur…
Those shots of tequila at the end… are they Cabo Wabo Blue agave tequila? I’m going to imagine that – YES, THEY ARE! Will also assume that they’ll have some Hagar-Miester to mix with Red Bull for some power shots 😉

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SPOILER POST for My Beautiful Suicide

Published November 30, 2013 by Shadow Girl

ALERT3
This is the SPOILER VIEW of the review of MY BEAUTIFUL SUICIDE
DO NOT READ THIS VERSION unless you’ve finished the book, or are prepared to view details that may spoil your enjoyment of Atty’s book.
Read the ORIGINAL – SPOILER FREE version

http://www.amazon.com/My-Beautiful-Suicide-Atty-Eve-ebook/dp/B00FUUHQA2/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_d_1

Cosette Hugo is living in a world of terror. She’s being stalked and tortured by a vicious enemy, while the world leaders turn a blind eye to the daily atrocities.
You guessed it, Cosette is in high-school!

Cozy has been going through a lot of emotional turmoil – her parents have divorced, her brother Victor was killed shortly after returning home from Iraq, and on top of it all – she’s being bullied at school, but has no idea why. She just wants to get through this last week of school so she can enjoy her bully free winter break.
Outside of school, the town is in a panic over the Poser Gang, who’s list of victims is growing at an alarming rate, and hitting closer to home than she is comfortable with.
Like the title suggests, her emotions lead her to a very final decision… suicide. When Cosette makes the decision to end her life, she is worried about the people she’s leaving behind. Instead of leaving them with the questions, guilt, or shame that her suicide may bring, she believes that getting herself killed might be a better way to go. She chooses to try and become one of The Poser’s victims – but this decision brings out a darker side of her that she never knew existed. A side that excites and terrifies her at the same time.

A deeper look : Includes Spoilers
[Cosette Hugo’s nemisis is Hilda Dyson. Hilda sucks as much as the vacuum, she’s a rotten bitch – and she is Cozy’s Kriptonite.
When Cozy stumbles onto the scene of a Poser attack in progress, something inside her rises up. Anger is drowning out the fear she should be feeling – she cannot let this continue while she stands by and does nothing! As she steps in, she is shocked to see that the victim is none other than Hilda Dyson! Hilda’s attacker is killed in the confrontation, and Cozy cannot be tied into this! Not in any way, shape or form! She makes sure there is nothing on scene that could expose any part of her involvement, makes sure Hilda gets help, then hauls ass.
The idea of these guys in the Poser gang doing this to anyone else makes her blood boil, and this is how she decides to become their next victim. It would take the pain of her suicide off of her family & friends, and if she could take the gang down with her… bonus! Too bad nothing is ever as easy as we imagine.
The problem? Each time she tries to make herself the victim, she ends up killing her attacker! This is where the book takes a wonderfully unexpected and dark turn. Each time Cozy tries to put herself in harm’s way with someone, it awakens something within her – a darker part of herself that enjoys inflicting pain on those who deserve it. She comes down off that high each time like she is sobering up from the effects of a drug. But, just like with a drug, that part of her that is sickened by her actions is quieted each time the high is presented again.
During all this, Cosette is trying to live a normal life. She is trying to make her final days with her mom drama-free, but that’s not always as easy as it sounds. Her mom meets a new friend while on duty at the hospital as a nurse, you’ll see how that impacts their life.
Cozy starts to spend more time with Chris during Winter Break, and they eventually become a couple. Chris has some secrets of his own & they begin a Bonnie and Clyde type relationship. There is one outing in particular that blew my mind! (An even darker side of Cozy is shown, and I hope that this will be a part of any future stories from Atty Eve in this series – In whatever direction the series will end up going.)
Her dad and his new wife (and new life) are the cause of some emotional events after Christmas – Events that will strain the Father/Daughter dynamic. You’ll find out if their bonds are strong enough, or if they break completely.
Her friends are around, too. All these things are included and make the story even better. It may sound like it adds up to a lot, but it ended before I was ready to leave their world! It’s very well balanced.
I could keep going & going until I revealed every single detail of this – but then you wouldn’t read My Beautiful Suicide and I cannot let that happen! So, PLEASE, hurry up and read it so you can come back and talk about it with me!! (hide spoiler)]

SINCE YOU’VE VIEWED THIS SPOILER POST, I’m betting you’ve finished the book. Feel free to post any comments here on this post if you’d like to discuss this story!! It’s one of my favorite things… talking about a book I love with other people who have read & enjoyed it!!
So – What are you waiting for? LET’S CHAT!!

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