‘Addicted To You’

It wasn’t like the movies.

This isn’t a fairy tale, or a love song.

This is punk rock.

Unadulterated.

Absolute.

~

When we met, it was as if I’d known him forever.

A part of me had been waiting all along, knowing.

An inner self – tethered to his soul,

Brought forth by his essence and emerging at that exact moment –

Borne.

~

All I never knew I wanted,

Becoming my everything.

Consumed.

*

He’s known by different names everywhere.

Each name representing another part of him – Every one a separate entity.

Each one bewitchingly different.

Captivating. Charming.

Dangerous. Deadly.

I know them all now. Intimately.

I’m hypnotized. I’m obsessed.

I’m addicted.

~

Spinning in my love’s passionate embraces.

Becoming one entity.

Losing individuality.

Losing myself.

Lost.

Sinking.

Drowning.

*

And then… In the blink of an eye… It’s over.

I’m finished.

Months of withdrawal.

Months of missing him.

Sickness, sadness, depression – never ceasing, never ending.

Pray for the pain to stop.

Pray for peace.

Pray for a death that never comes.

There is no God with me.

*

And now… I’ve returned.

I’m weak.

No longer clean. No longer sober.

He was never out of my system, but now he’s back in my blood.

In my soul.

My obsession, my addiction… it’s who I am.

Without it – I’m nothing.

But it’s not the same.

It aches.

I hurt.

Torn.

Still praying for a death that never comes.

---

I first published this on WattPad. I’ve always been scared to share writing so close to my heart, so I’ve just kept it hidden.

It’s time for a public consumption – please be honest, yet kind? Leave any comments below.

Thank you for taking the time,

~sg