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30 Super Hilarious Ways To Say ‘Masturbation’ — Thought Catalog

Photo Credit: Ava Sol

So you’re feelin’ a little frisky, and can’t wait to get yourself alone for some quality time… Just as you relax enough so that the world melts away, it’s just you and the feelings… your dad/mom busts in – (you forgot to lock your front door, and s/he has no boundaries).

That’s a horror story! It’s at least horrific… Well, I needed a reason to repost – you got something better? Hahaha!! Enjoy this from Thought Catalog –

By January NelsonUpdated July 29, 2020

1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows.

2. DJ the VJ.

3. Dopamine farming.

4. Double clicking your mouse.

5. Badgering the witness.

6. Summoning the semen demon.

7. Blood bending.

8. Shaking hands with the unemployed.

9. Making Jesus cry.

10. Five knuckle shuffle.

11. Playing some five on one.

12. Churning the butter.

13. Tickle the pickle.

14. Whackin’ the Krakin.

15. Polish the pearl.

16. Waxing your carrot.

17. Man handle the ham candle.

18. Putting on a puppet show.

19. Releasing the poison.

20. Giving yourself a handshake.

21. Ringing the devil’s doorbell.

22. Holding a sausage hostage.

23. Flicking the bean.

24. Petting the bunny.

25. Juice the goose.

26. Hand to gland combat.

27. Single player sex.

28. Dishonorable discharge.

29. Wiggling the yogurt hose.

30. Menage a moi.

1. Having a threesome with a couple of no-shows. 2. DJ the VJ. 3. Dopamine farming. 4. Double clicking your mouse. 5. Badgering the witness. 6. Summoning the semen demon. 7. Blood bending. 8. Shaking hands with the unemployed. 9. Making Jesus cry. 10. Five knuckle shuffle. 11. Playing some five on one. 12. Churning the…

30 Super Hilarious Ways To Say ‘Masturbation’ — Thought Catalog

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