Happy Canada Day, Eh!

Published July 1, 2017 by Shadow Girl

OH, CANADA!

Happy 150th Birthday to my
Neighbor to the South!

– Windsor is directly south of Detroit –

I’ve always been able to be on international soil in a matter of minutes, (pre 9/11), for an extra-large order of poutine with a can of Pink Crush Cream Soda, and my monthly case of Willy Wonka’s Everlasting HOT Gobstoppers were always in stock.
Maybe I started to take you for granted, Windsor. For that, I apologize.

You gave us Bob & Doug McKenzie, Tim Horton’s, Wayne Gretzky, and Kraft dinner!
You welcomed me with open arms on my 19th birthday, and said “Have a drink on us, you’re legal here!”
Legal prostitution doesn’t interest me,  so you said I could show my titties on the street whenever I wanted! (oYo)  A #FF that still might come in handy one day…
Since legalized marijuana wasn’t my ‘thing’ – you gave me OTC codeine.
You STILL don’t tax casino winnings, Canadian bingo is never farther than a ten minute drive, and every birthday girl and bachelorette within 150 miles knows there are wangs-a-plenty waiting at Danny’s!

I’ve tried to come see you, and apologize in person – honest I have!
But the door guy said you wouldn’t see me now. Not without a passport.
It’s ok, though. He was super polite when he told me.
And I have my Loonies and Toonies to comfort me every time I miss you, and I’ll be waving to you from the other side of the river tonight at your fireworks celebration.

HAPPY CANADA DAY, EH!

・☆。・゛Let Your Freak Flag Fly! ゛・☆。・

 

 

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