A HACKED-UP HOLIDAY MASSACRE

A Hacked-Up Holiday Massacre:

Halloween is Going to be Jealous

24 holiday themed horror shorts by some of the leading names in the genre. You want blood? You’ll get buckets.

CONSENSUAL:
In my best ‘Joe Dirt’ impersonation…”When good fetishs go bad, dang!” In a style that only Jack Ketchum can deliver, this story of extreme S&M, and the lengths some people will go to for sexual pleasure, will make you cringe!

SECUREDATE.COM:
Boyd E. Harris tells us the story of Patrice, and how she comes to put her love life into the hands of an online dating service, Agent Cupid, and the bizarre man behind the Agent Cupid program.

FACE:
February 29th is a day of chaos. The day that shouldn’t be. Thank goodness it only comes once every four years. In this Leap Day themed short by Patcick Shand, Logan learns just how sinister this day can be.

In PINCH by Shane McKenzie, we’re in a dark & gloomy back-alley with Slim and his dog Luther. Starving, homeless, & strung out, Slim is just trying to be invisible to the drunken bar-hoppers. He knows that in the spirit of the holiday, if you’re not wearing any green on St. Patrick’s Day, you can get ‘pinched’ by other SPD celebrators. It’s a shame that his dog Luther is color-blind.

GHUNT:
In this Easter themed short from Lee Thomas, we’re spending the day with Sally, her family, and… her memories. She finds Easter, and it’s traditions, distasteful. But, she won’t ruin her daughters holiday. She covers her disgust by feigning disinterest, but she will never forget that Easter of her tenth year. She’ll go to any lengths to assure her daughters holiday will never include her Uncle Easter Bunny or his ‘egg hunts’.

JOYEUX PÂQUES:
Emma Ennis tells the tale of Easter in the town of Murrins. It is not a time of fluffy bunnies or chocolate eggs. Murrins has a dark and embarassing history. One that returns to haunt the towns inhabitants, and to remind them – the sins of the father are to be laid upon the children.

THE GREATEST SIN:
In this short by Kevin Wallace, Arbor Day is celebrated by the trees – and this year…they’re pissed!

THE GREENHOUSE GARDEN OF SUICIDES:
Kirk Jones pens a different kind of Arbor Day tale this time around. One where the plants and humans intertwine to become one grotesque creature. A creature that doesn’t want to be alone!

I ♥ RECYCLING:
A creepy twist on Earth Day from author Leslie Connor – The last place Matt wants to be is in the woods, with his family, just because his step-dad wants to plant a tree for Earth Day. But this Earth Day awakens something evil in these woods, and Matt doesn’t know if he, or his family, will make it out alive.

TACO MEAT:
Author John McNee knows how to ruin a perfectly heavenly Mexican dinner! This is a Cinco De Mayo celebration story of four boys and a prank gone horribly wrong. A short story about the obsession of revenge!

REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT LIVING OUT IN THE COUNTRY?:
I do, I do!  “Out in the country, no one will hear you scream!”
When I talked to A.J. Brown, he told me that Mother’s Day was not his first choice of holidays to write a horror short about, but he wrote one that will stick with me forever!
Cyrus is a down home, good ole boy. He hates kids and goes to any lengths to ensure he never has any of his own. Extreme lenghts. But, when he finds a woman to settle down with – she’s willing to use even more extreme measures to make sure she gets the child she wants. Who will emerge the victor?

EVERY DAY A HOLIDAY:
Steve Lowe has created many holidays for this story, but – it’s mainly a story about Fathers Day. Set in an apocalyptic future, one faimly goes to extreme lenghts to make sure the father is our of their lives for good.

SEEING RED:
SunVerge is having its annual Employee Appreciation Day picnic & festivities. The employees have their own hidden agendas for this event. A team building exercise based on a Venesualan tradition, La Tomatina, is being incorporated into the event – hopefully to let workers get out some of their aggressions in a fun and structured environment. The author, Chris Lewis Carter, had more in mind for us readers, and twisted together a story violence & revenge for this outing! Who will make it out alive ? I’m looking forward to reading more of CLC’s works!

SOUTHERN FRIED CRUELTY:
For World Animal Day, Matt Kurtz writes us a story about revenge on the cowardly assclowns who abuse animals for
fun. Taking revenge on as ‘an eye for an eye’ task – this story is pretty gruesome. Scenes of violence against the animals disturbed me more than the extreme violence on the humans, tho!!

BY BIZARRE HANDS is a story about a traveling preacher, trying to spread salvation (among other things) & His word.  Joe R. Lansdale wrote this Halloween short story about Preacher Judd, who’s gotten wind of a retarded girl who is in need of some of bible-learning. A girl just like his late sister, the one who died on Halloween many years ago. If he can get some God-Sense into this girl – maybe he’ll be able to let his sister rest in peace.

FAMILY MAN:
A Halloween story by John Bruni.
Sid & Stan. Identical twin brothers, with urges… like their father and their grandfather before them. At one time – they were the perfect yin and yang. These days, everything surrounding Stan is a cluster-fuck that Sid wants no part of. They were taught that family means everything. But, Sid has his own family now. A family that he has taught well.
This is a cute story, and I especially liked the line… “You’ve had enough fun for one night. It’s bedtime. Take your uncles face off.” HALLOWEEN Fun for the whole family!! Hahaha

WE RUN RACES WITH GOBLIN TROOPERS:
This Veteran’s Day story by Lee Thompson is about a retired soldier, trying to come to terms with his past. He can’t hide from his own mind and the memories of things he had done. The story is told in journal form, as he is trying to cope with the ghosts.

PASCAL’S WAGER:
I hate to admit this, but this short story was my first experience with Wrath James Wright! I know! Right? For a lover of sick & twisted like myself – I should have started ages ago. I have many full lenghth novels in my queue now, so… fear not! Many reviews to come! NOW… about Pascal’s Wager… I loved this. The obsession with “which religion is the right one” is taken to such a bizarre extreme! Although this is set during our traditional November Thanksgiving – it touches base with traditions from every religion during this time of year. It has an ending that will leave you with your jaw hanging open & a WTF expression on your face.

A SPECIAL SURPRISE AT THANKSGIVING DINNER by Elle Richfield is another SS surrounding Thanksgiving, but this one focuses more on a traditional family holiday than on one guy in November. Hector has prepared a special holiday feast for his fat wife Norma, and her bitch of a mother Ilene. The women that were the bane of his existence all these years. But, with some luck, and a special recipe, he’s going to turn into the bane of theirs. Not a traditional family Thanksgiving story, but one I’ll remember every year as the turkey is about to be carved! I can’t wait until someone asks me why I’m smirking at the table this year. I’ll just be thankful if I can hold my tongue!

WAITING FOR SANTA:
Bently Little believes that you’re never too old to believe in Santa. The man in this story is surprised when he finds out his 23 year old wife honestly believes in the fat man. He’s shocked when he is awoken on Christmas Eve/Christmas Morning by sounds on the roof… then inside his home. He is horrified by what he learns about Christmas this year, and what takes the place of candy & toys for adults. But he’s even more terrified when his wife brings up The Easter Bunny a couple of months later!

HUNG WITH CARE:
Christmas miracles are few & far between during these hacked up holidays. So – keep your eyes peeled when Ty Schwamberger gives us a serial killer Christmas! A murderous Santa breaking into homes on Christmas eve, and hanging more than just stockings from the fireplace.
“The hands are hung by the chimney with care…
In hopes that folks from everywhere far and wide, will know that Christmas is the time to die.”

SUNSHINE BEAMED:
A Christmas SS by Marie Green
Sunshine (aka Sunny) is full of joy this morning! As she sneaks outside to take a peek at the neighbors beautiful Christmas tree, she has an idea… she is going to decorate the tree in the yard as a surprise for her family. And, they are really surprised when they wake up and see what she’s done.

DIA DE LOS INOCENTES:
A group of friends decide to sneak across the border into Mexico. One of them has a ‘girlfriend’ in the area whose parents are out of town for the holidays, and she will have the house to herself. They’ve saved up some cash and are ready for an adventure! But… the adventure they run into is not what they had in mind! One of the guys escapes after watching his friends die , and THATS when the fun really starts! It’s The Day of the Innocents and Elias Siqueiros is going to teach you all about it.

THREE, TWO, ONE:
Well…we’ve come full circle  )O(  Nate Southard is rounding-up this collection with a SS  about the last New Year’s Eve that mankind will ever celebrate. Told through a series of journal entries from one of the men who helped introduce ‘The Complex’ to an unsuspecting Manhattan. It’s happening all over the world, The Complex is being released and a handful of people have volunteered to watch and take notes until they’ve succumbed to the virus. A great story and IMO – an absolutely perfect ending to this anthology!

A Hacked-Up Holiday Massacre was edited by Shane Mackenzie.
I’ve gotten to chat with, or became friends with most of the authors since reading this. So, even though a ton of work went into getting this post together on time – it was worth every second of editing, formatting, and a lengthy html headache.
(You’ll need to ask my husband if my overly-anal editing was worth the time he had to spend fixing the vacuum cleaner that mysteriously fell apart all on it’s own – with no help from me whatsoever. I wasn’t even in the same room.

I didn’t do it.
Nobody saw me do it.
You can’t prove anything.

* SHANE McKENZIE’s Blog : THE THINGS IN MY HEAD –
http://www.shanemckenziewriter.blogspot.com/

* JOHN BRUNI’s Blog : TALES OF UNSPEAKABLE TASTE
http://www.talesofunspeakabletaste.blogspot.com/?zx=3d6409c4fbd54a3b

* CHRIS LEWIS CARTER can be reached at – chrislewiscarter@gmail.com

* LESLY CONNER’s Blog IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE(
http://www.lesleyconner.com/

* TERRIBLY WITTY IDEAS WITH EMMA ENNIS
http://authoremmaennis.blogspot.com/

* BOYD E. HARRIS works at, and can be reached at –
http://www.cuttingblock.net/

* FUN FACT: Joe R. Lansdale wrote BUBBA HO TEP, the one that our Main Man BRUCE’s movie was based on! He’s also featured in Showtime’s MASTERS OF HORROR series. You can contact him on Facebook – helluva guy!

* TY SCHWAMBERGER’s official Blog is right here on WP –
http://tyschwamberger.com/

* NATE SOUTHARD’s STATIC BROADCASTS –
http://www.natesouthard.com/

* LEE THOMAS’s Blog can be found at –
http://www.leethomasauthor.com/

* LEE THOMPSON’s official Blog –
http://www.leethompsonfiction.com/

Most of the authors have Facebook pages, but until I get permission from everyone – I won’t post any addresses. That shouldn’t stop you from looking them up on your own & reaching out to tell them how you felt about their work. I’ll ask my Facebook stalker expert if she has any tips to share!
I hope you had fun with this one. I took a different approach, and I liked how the reviews turned out. Let me know if you felt the same – all comments are appreciated.
♥ PEACE, LOVE, & NECROPHILLIA
~sg

A Hacked-Up Holiday Massacre: Halloween is Going to be Jealous on Amazon